Jimi Hendrix- Guitartist Extraordinaire
I don’t give a damn what others say. It’s ok to color outside of the lines-Jimi Hendrix.
I’ve always been totally fascinated by Jimi Hendrix. Aside from the drug issues, the man was fyucking brilliant.
I know he was a bit of an artistic rebel and high alot, but for some reason I got to thinking about how and if his quote applied to love and relationships.
The Comeback Girl has been known to have some strong a!ss opinions on a few things and sometimes they aren’t sex!y. And most are in regards to “coloring outside of the lines” in a relationship by me maintaining my own identity and balancing that with a healthy pairing. When I look back at my mother’s union with my father, at times I think she was TOO MUCH OF HER OWN WOMAN. And my father didn’t really know exactly where to fit in. He needed to believe he was needed at every turn from taking out the trash to putting up a da!mn paper towel rack. Besides, the fact they made a terrible couple, its taken me many years to figure out how the first relationship I ever saw tanked and how to strike a healthy balance between personal fulfillment and being apart of a man/woman team. What I’m not talking about is the BLACKSUPERWOMAN-IDONTNEEDAMAN complex. That’s some too much talked about bullsh!it and maybe feminism’s curse. But that’s another blog for another day.
What I am talking about is the ability to maintain your own identity, to have your own opinions and hobbies and tempering all those YAYA attributes with being in a safe space, knowing that you won’t be crucified for any of the beforementioned. Loving someone doesn’t mean you have to share a brain. It doesn’t mean that at every turn he’s breathing down your neck and in your creative pursuits and in your conversations with your girls. I probably could have been married for a quite a while now, had I gone with the one or two, who never made me feel it was o.k. to be me. To have a thought and even my own personal space, without taking it as some personal diss or blow to his manhood. I remember the last time I blogged about my personal relationship, there were times I’d be on the phone talking with my bestie (who I never got that much time to talk to anyway-because of him), and there he was tryna count all my teeth. I HATED THAT. And I figured out that was just his own insecurities projecting itself onto our relationship. Luckily, I don’t attract men like him anymore, so that’s no longer my issue.
I personally believe that there’s no better love than going out into the world experiencing your own dynamic life and bringing that back home to your relationship with your partner. But I also know that some men are terribly insecure and need to feel like they are apart of EVERYTHING you do, including the air you breathe. This is my greatest relationship pet peeve, and while it does work for many women (for a period of time), it doesn’t work for me-and there does come a time where it bites most women in the a!ss.
What say the ladies? Men, aside from the oft debated BLACKSUPERWOMAN complex, how does a woman with creative or even professional pursuits that have nothing to do with you fair in your own relationships. Do you prefer and encourage her to maintain her own identity? her own opinions (even the more contrary or controversial ones)? or Is this where feminism killed the black woman and her ability to have a relationship with her man.
Good Morning!
Great post! One of my biggest fears in a relationship is losing my identity. I recently witnessed a friend get engaged. Prior to the engagement she did a COMPLETE transformation; to the point that I, along with her other friends, felt she was a shell of the person she used to be. I hated that. Part of the problem was that her and her fiance were together too much. Not only did they live together, but they also worked at the bar together. AT THE BAR. He the dj and she the bartender. That right there caused a multitude of problems for them. She’s a pretty girl. Who’s a bartender. Yeah you get the drift.
Whenever anyone would go to town to visit (she lives in a different city). He had to come along. There was no her going out with us to have dinner or have a drink. If we wanted to do that, we had to go to the bar where they both worked
a hood azz bar that you couldn’t pay me to step in unless I had my bullet proof vest on. Any of the hobbies she may have had prior to him, she no longer did. Or he was included.Last week on FB (surprise surprise), her relationship status changed from engaged to it’s complicated. Her update also read “If you are insecure, beat your feet, not me”. She later explained that her fiancee’ had gone through her phone (for the upteemth time) and confronted her about something he thought he found. What ensured was nothing short of a hot mess. She admitted that despite them being together ALL the time he was insecure. And that she had changed so much for him, yet he refused to acknowledge that.
I don’t ever want to change who I am to be with someone. I want to be loved not for who you think I am I, nor what you want me to be (c) Buju Bantu. I believe in compromise in a relationship. But I will never stand behind losing myself to the point that I can’t recognize me. It will never work.
Good morning!!!!!!
@V… Kudos to you… You were at work early like me…How can I pop up and hit the road before 6 and be early to work when I have a 2 hour commute but yet I can NEVER be on time when my commute is only 30 minutes. SMDH @ myself… LOL
Excellent post!!!!! Right now since I’m single I observe A LOT from the relationships around me and a lot of times I DO NOT like what I see…One of my friend’s husband wants all of the control and I hate that…Well they had a bbq recently and it was to the point that he had to do everything from fix our plates, to fix our drinks, wrap up our leftovers, and etc . It was like we couldn’t do anything for ourselves. And with my friend I’m just suprised to see their interaction because she’s not one to put up with no bs in all other elements of our life (job, friends, and etc) except with him. And I don’t understand that. W/ him she comes off as weak but to everybody else she’s strong.. And I DO NOT like seeing that at all…
I want ALL women in relationship to maintain their identity. You are who you are and you shouldn’t have to change for NOBODY…This is not saying don’t allow yourself to grow. But grow for the better for yourself not to be more compatible for some man.
“He had to come along. There was no her going out with us to have dinner or have a drink. If we wanted to do that, we had to go to the bar where they both worked a hood azz bar that you couldn’t pay me to step in unless I had my bullet proof vest on . Any of the hobbies she may have had prior to him, she no longer did. Or he was included.”
@ Vroom…see ive been guilty of this for like 2 WEEKS…its the honeymoon. LOL..but at least after a month I need my space. Over time though, I think as you start to lose bits a pieces you do become resentful.
@ 80s – Ummm I’m just now getting to work. Commenting early
when I was suppose to be getting readywas part of my rebelling against Monday. LOLAs for as relationship, I think it’s necessary to have separate interests from your partners. It makes a relationship stronger. Otherwise, at least with me, if everything revolves around us and there is no me, I’m not happy. And I’ll grow to resent you….whether it’s your fault or not. Ha!
“Well they had a bbq recently and it was to the point that he had to do everything from fix our plates, to fix our drinks, wrap up our leftovers, and etc . It was like we couldn’t do anything for ourselves. And with my friend I’m just suprised to see their interaction because she’s not one to put up with no bs in all other elements of our life (job, friends, and etc) except with him. And I don’t understand that.”
@80s…that sounds like he likes to please folks..like a chick…fixin plates AND doing dishes?? AND cleaning up?? that don’t sound like a man lol..
But i agree on the part about him not running her life. thats not cool.
@ Vroom…see ive been guilty of this for like 2 WEEKS…its the honeymoon. .
It’s been 2 years with her. I understand the honeymoon phase, but 2 years, and I have YET to hang out with you one on one. Not cool.
that sounds like he likes to please folks..like a chick…fixin plates AND doing dishes?? AND cleaning up?? that don’t sound like a man lol..
@Comeback… He ain’t trying to please us… He trying to feel needed and to show us he in control of their household.But he had did enough by preparing the food…… He want to seem like Mr. Boss Man at all times. This was the same man that when we were at his wedding rehearsal he was talking about the bride was on the wrong side of her daddy when they were coming down the aisle. The same man that at his wedding after his bride laid down the broom he picked it back up, turned it around and placed it back down. For what reason I still don’t know… He has to have ALL CONTROL of everything.
Ummm I’m just now getting to work. Commenting early when I was suppose to be getting ready was part of my rebelling against Monday. LOL
@V… Ha Ha Ha Ha… Mondays get on my nerves too…..
But I agree with people having their seperate interests… And regarding these interests I’m gonna need people in a relationship to not clown each other interests either…. But respect them.
This reminds me of Knocked up..Where the wife thought her husband was having an affair but he was actually sneaking to be apart of a fantasy baseball league because he knew his wife wouldn’t approve.
“It’s been 2 years with her. I understand the honeymoon phase, but 2 years, and I have YET to hang out with you one on one. Not cool.”
They share a brain now LOL..its too far gone.
@ Vroom and 80s..My mother has a bestie and every time they talk on the phone he picks it up to listen??? So old a!ss people who should know better..i think this is what it evolves into.
My mother has a bestie and every time they talk on the phone he picks it up to listen??? .
Oh HEL.LS NAW!!!!!!!!!!! I’m laughing as I type this, but that’s not cool.
She better start using her cell phone, see if he can pick up then. LOL
Where the wife thought her husband was having an affair but he was actually sneaking to be apart of a fantasy baseball league because he knew his wife wouldn’t approve. .
LOVE this movie. But you’re right, it would suck to have to sneak and do something you love.
“see if he can pick up then. LOL”
@Vroom..you crazy…i just think some old school folk to that “We are one” too far. And then you have their kids and grandkids thinking thats really love.
My mother has a bestie and every time they talk on the phone he picks it up to listen??? So old a!ss people who should know better..i think this is what it evolves into.
@Comeback… I would NOT be able to do that… Awww hecks no!!!! Should definitely KNOW better…
Usually it’s Nick asking this but I’ll ask her in absence…
How was y’all weeekend?
“How was y’all weeekend?”
@80s..I commented on Vroom’s FB page that it was too short. I get into my weekend groove on Sunday..and here come Monday LOL..i hate that..
I wanted to go see SAW 900?? lol has anybody seen it? and I need a hollaween costume.
@Cb… I hear you…… Monday ALWAYS come way too fast…
Nah I ain’t seen Saw 900… I don’t do scary movies…
My weekend was great… I managed to do entirely TOO much as usual… LOL
@Comeback… CHECK YOUR EMAIL
Usually it’s Nick asking this but I’ll ask her in absence…
How was y’all weeekend? .
LOL. I
♥hate you.My weekend was good. But SHORT!!!!
I do not want to see Saw. I hate scary movies. It’s been a list of movies I have wanted to see, but I never find the time to see them. Well part of the reason is it’s best that I see movies during the day. Otherwise, there’s a 85% chance that I will fall asleep.
Oh yeah, we talked my sister into going to her baby shower. LoL. So it’s back on. I spent all day yesterday, planning and mailing invitations with my mama and sister. It’s funny to see my dad, because he’s getting excited. He pulled up his shirt, like I’ve been getting a belly too. I blame ****** (my sister).
“My weekend was great… I managed to do entirely TOO much as usual… LOL”
Did yall go has hooter girls?
@Comeback…. That’s this weekend….. Where I’ll going out as a Hooter girl.
“Oh yeah, we talked my sister into going to her baby shower. LoL. So it’s back on. I spent all day yesterday, planning and mailing invitations with my mama and sister. It’s funny to see my dad, because he’s getting excited. He pulled up his shirt, like I’ve been getting a belly too. I blame ****** (my sister).
”
That is SOO cute…
I need a Halloween costume too. 80s if I can find an outfit like the one you sent on Friday, I’m getting it!
@V..
re: Your sister’s baby shower…
Did y’all say why miss out on the free baby gifts????? LOL I’m happy ur sis is having a shower….I’m gonna send you my gift all wrapped up in the mail to give to her and it’s gonna say to V’s sister from 80’s baby… She gonna be like who??????
LMAO
I’m gonna send you my gift all wrapped up in the mail to give to her and it’s gonna say to V’s sister from 80’s baby… She gonna be like who?????? .
LOL. She’ll probably know who you are.
BTW I JUST watched the video of your aunt H. I showed it to my mama and she kept saying “OMG she’s soooooo cute. There’s no way she’s 104. She doesn’t look it at all. ” Over and over. LOL
“LOL I’m happy ur sis is having a shower….I’m gonna send you my gift all wrapped up in the mail to give to her and it’.s gonna say to V’s sister from 80’s baby… She gonna be like who??????
”
I wanna send a gift too!! set up a po box from the treehouse
BTW I JUST watched the video of your aunt H. I showed it to my mama and she kept saying “OMG she’s soooooo cute. There’s no way she’s 104. She doesn’t look it at all. ” Over and over. LOL
@V…Let her tell it she 92… LOL… I have another one that I need to post… I keep forgetting to do it…. Aunt Hattie’s in the hospital right now… She got a slight case of pneumonia…
Yesterday they had to put her on oxygen because her breathing wasn’t right.. .But she’s off of it now….. She’s also complaining of stomach pains so we don’t know what’s going on….. 
” Yesterday they had to put her on oxygen because her breathing wasn’t right.. .But she’s off of it now….. She’s also complaining of stomach pains so we don’t know what’s going on….. ”
imma say prayer for Aunt Hattie..she is SOO funny. I wish you would do something with the video 80s like make it a youtube special or something..Dave Letterman had a lady I think in her 100s?? he use to ask dating advice and se!x advice.
imma say prayer for Aunt Hattie..she is SOO funny. I wish you would do something with the video 80s like make it a youtube special or something..Dave Letterman had a lady I think in her 100s?? he use to ask dating advice and se!x advice.
@Comeback… All three of the last Simmons Sisters ( my great-grandma, Aunt Hattie, and Aunt Cat who passed away in 05 at 95) were hilarious….. They were so witty…. I would love to do my great-grandma but she NEVER was one to like being asked questions.. I could probably get 2 questions out of her and then she would curse me out….
When I was going to be in my friend’s wedding I was teasing my Great-grandma that I was getting married and she BUSTED out laughing and said now I ain’t drunk and I ain’t crazy…… LOL
And then Aunt Hattie loves to sneak in so are you in Ky shacking? And then she’ll mumble you must be since you ain’t saying nothing. I just crack up…. Because then she’ll say you ain’t funny is you????
I LOVE them with a passion… I have definitely been blessed to have spent 27 years with these wonderful women.
“how does a woman with creative or even professional pursuits that have nothing to do with you fair in your own relationships.”
As I think I am not boyfriend-material in the least, I think most of the reason women still view me as such is because I let them be them all the time. I tell them to pursue their hobbies, hang out with friends, go network, take classes, etc. I dont need to see you every day. I dont need to know where you are and with whom all the time. I dont want you to agree with me all the time. I get aggravated sometimes because my girl will like a blouse or something, and she’ll ask me if I like it, and if I dont I’ll tell her no and she’ll put it back. I’m like if you like it then buy it, buy clothes for yourself not for me.
‘Morning you guys!
OH my goodness, you just earned major props from me for using Hendrix as your inspiration for a post.
You get to wear my Classic Rock Kid Crown for the day!
I know this is my number one issue in relationships, I tend to need my space more so than the other person. I remember when I first began sharing my goals and dreams with my most recent guy, his reply was, “Do you really think that will happen? You know I do not want that.”, which was the beginning of our problems.
That ish hurt like a dagger and for so long I wondered what did I do or didn’t do that made him say that or feel that way. I rationalized with the “maybe he’s rights” and the “I could spend more time with hims”. Then I realized, hell no, I have every right to maintain what I am doing. It was his issue, his necessity to fulfill his deep down insecurity of being needed. If he had enough of things going on for himself, hobbies he loved, friends he did not dump, he would not have time to focus on me ALL the time and what I’m doing.
I wouldn’t say the need for a woman to maintain her own identity Feminism, this is human nature. Women and men should realize they were a person before they became a union. I would never dumb myself down or stop doing things I love or seeing people I love to appease someone else.
It may work for a while, but when this temporary fix spurs it’s head, the outcome could be ugly and resentment isn’t too far behind. The person who changes, I believe, usually gets dumped, which makes sense because they are no longer the person their significant other was attracted to. Remember, we teach people how to treat us. Also, it has never failed that in every situation like this I have known of or witnessed, the insecure/controlling person is cheating at some point.
The best advice I got in this topic is that you have to set precedence early on in the relationship (I swear, the things we do and say in the beginning really do set the pace for the long term). If you notice that both of you are spending too much time together, abandoning your hobbies and/or friends, simply state, “You haven’t hung out with the guys in awhile/you haven’t done “X” hobby in a while that you loved AND/OR “I” haven’t hung out with the girls in awhile/”I” haven’t done “X” hobby in a while that “I” loved, I know they or “X” hobby made you happy, I think we should set aside some time for those things, it’s only fair to ourselves and to our relationship”. If he/she has a problem with that, run, because any sensible person would appreciate this notion.
I wanna send a gift too!! set up a po box from the treehouse .
Awwww that’s sweet. You guys don’t have to!
Oh no to Aunt Hattie. I hope she gets better!!!!!!!
I think most of the reason women still view me as such is because I let them be them all the time. .
This is one of the things I loved about my ex. He NEVER asked me to change anything about me. Never pitched a fit about me doing ANYTHING. And I did the same with him. Please have a life outside of me, because I certainly will.
All three of the last Simmons Sisters ( my great-grandma, Aunt Hattie, and Aunt Cat who passed away in 05 at 95) were hilarious….. .
Their last name is Simmons?? I have a whole bunch of Simmons in my family. Let me find out there’s a connection!
Oh yeah you’re blessed to have them!!!!! I want to see another video.
Hey Spiffy! Long time no see!
I totally agree with your comment. Especially this part The person who changes, I believe, usually gets dumped, which makes sense because they are no longer the person their significant other was attracted to. .
Their last name is Simmons?? I have a whole bunch of Simmons in my family. Let me find out there’s a connection!
@V….Yep… That’s their maiden names… Any of your people from the country in Georgia????? Possibly Monroe????
Girl, you probably my long lost cousin… LOl
Hey Spiffy and No More!!!!!
“I could probably get 2 questions out of her and then she would curse me out….
”
@ 80s..that would be the funny part..not tryna make you fall girl..but the rapport is funny with honest elders. I heart them so much.
@ NONO..i love your comment (it must be the end of the world thats coming LOL)..
@V….Yep… That’s their maiden names… Any of your people from the country in Georgia????? Possibly Monroe???? .
Hmmmmm. Possibly. See the link is with my grandma. She had two husbands. I know about the second husband, my grandpa. The other one, I’m not familar with. She’s from Arkansas, but I don’t know where the first hubby/baby daddy was from. I’ma ask my daddy later on tonight.
Hey 80’s & V & CB & Spiffy!
that would be the funny part..not tryna make you fall girl..but the rapport is funny with honest elders. I heart them so much.
@Comeback… I promise that’s how it was with Aunt Hattie.. My grandma’s house has A LOT of distractions… So we kept getting interrupted and then I would have to start all over….. I kept saying this the last time I promise. She kept saying if you don’t get that Kodak out of my face…. … One time I had to bribe her with a cookie…. Y’all know she can eat…
She kept saying if you don’t get that Kodak out of my face…. … One time I had to bribe her with a cookie…. Y’all know she can eat… .
I quit you!!!!
What up NoMore!! So as a male, have you ever lost a part of yourself with a chick? Tell the truth! lol
“OH my goodness, you just earned major props from me for using Hendrix as your inspiration for a post.
You get to wear my Classic Rock Kid Crown for the day!
”
@ Spiffy..I was gonna go into Pink Floyd being inspired by Hendrix..but i thought that was too much LOL..
“The person who changes, I believe, usually gets dumped, which makes sense because they are no longer the person their significant other was attracted to. Remember, we teach people how to treat us. Also, it has never failed that in every situation like this I have known of or witnessed, the insecure/controlling person is cheating at some point.
”
this is true..dumped is harsh LOL..i like waning appreciation..which does lead to dumping. But I think you are on to something. Men are attracted to women with hobbies, friends, social lives, big dreams..but i think it takes a special man to be able to have his own thing to that makes him special and know that when she wins, the couple wins. When he wins, the couple wins. It just makes for an all aournd interesting and fruitful union.
the other lesson i guess is to not settle.
” One time I had to bribe her with a cookie…. Y’all know she can eat…”
I QUIT YOU TODAY AND FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 80s…or at least until i comeback with my coffee. LOL
Great post Comeback!
And while I haven’t had the opportunity read each and every comment it seems like all of us know someone in this position.
I have been in relationships like this and I even blogged about it last week…but anyways, the whole thing of it is…I NEEDED to be my own person. I had had hobbies and given just about everything up. It was horrid.
Now… my SO thinks almost everything I do is boring or silly (ie blogging) so I’m really not worried. It’s just fine because I’m allowed to be me in ALL WAYS… This makes me happy.
I think I saw that everyone had a great weekend!
As I think I am not boyfriend-material in the least, I think most of the reason women still view me as such is because I let them be them all the time.
@No More… KUDOS to this
@Spiffy… Kudos to your entire comment
“I have been in relationships like this and I even blogged about it last week…”
@ FB..you were in a relationship like this last week???I gotta go back and read.
I think if we’re honest too.. WE”VE ALL BEEN THERE. I know i have.
@CBG
NOOOO! I was in a relationship like this two years ago…. I blogged about it last week…
I’m still in the same relationship I was in last week…. He lets me have lots of time to do what I want…
“He lets me have lots of time to do what I want…”
Like take bubble baths and shi!t ..without him??
FB, 80s, Vroom..yall feel like blog talk tv and our vision boards?? tonite.. I forgot to make it official.
Spiffy and NONO..you can join too.
Y’all know how older people sometimes lose their appetite? Not her.. she eats!!!! Can’t nobody eat anything around her. She’s asking what is it? And how come we ain’t bring her nothing..
She’ll eat and then in the next hour she’ll say I sho am hungry. We’re like Aunt Hattie but you just ate… She goes off like you don’t know my stomach. How you gonna tell me I’m not hungry. Give me something to eat.
Last time she was in the hospital and she was being a baby so she wanted me to feed her…. She wanted the cookie.. She bit into it talking about. Hmmph. I have never had a sugarless cookie in my life…
re: blog tv… I’m down… V.. Do you have a camera yet?
” She bit into it talking about. Hmmph. I have never had a sugarless cookie in my life…”
It was a hospital cookie??? and it was sugarless?? i think i had a cookie with splenda in it.
@CBG
Yes I can take baths without him lol… and go shopping and out with friends and family and blog and e-mail and all dat… and if he’s here… he’s just watching sports and I’m just in lala land… (it’s a great plan)
re: blog talk
Sure… I have some magazines (a lot of them got wet & ruined so I now need more
but I’m down!
“What up NoMore!! So as a male, have you ever lost a part of yourself with a chick? Tell the truth! lol”
No, not anything outside of the usual young-boy things like maybe trying to act a little extra cool/gentlemanly/daring in order to impress a woman. Typical high school stuff.
It was a hospital cookie??? and it was sugarless?? i think i had a cookie with splenda in it.
@Comeback…Yep it was a cookie from the hospital and she said it was sugarless….She be liking her “snacks”….. LMAO
FB, 80s, Vroom..yall feel like blog talk tv and our vision boards?? tonite.. I forgot to make it official. .
Ummmmmm Im still working on my vision board
I haven’t started it.I’m still down to do blog talk tv. I DO have a web cam!!!! Go Me!!!!!! Lol
“NONO..you can join too.”
Hey I just might. I bought a nice laptop from a guy in the shake joint bathroom for the low and its got a webcam. I gotta get a wireless router though.
@No No
You are a mess! Not out of the shake joint…I pray you are kidding…
Yeah V …. I haven’t really started either but I’ll start with yall tonight…
I hope I’m at home.
No, not anything outside of the usual young-boy things like maybe trying to act a little extra cool/gentlemanly/daring in order to impress a woman. Typical high school stuff. .
As the
puppy loverelationship progressed, did you revert back to the old you. Or was it just a different version of you…in love.I guess in some way, in love, you’re a different version of yourself. I wonder how many versions of myself I have. I mean they’re all me, but me in different situations.
I bought a nice laptop from a guy in the shake joint bathroom for the low and its got a webcam. .
LMAO. Ummmm I hope you disinfected it first.
“I bought a nice laptop from a guy in the shake joint bathroom for the low and its got a webcam.”
NO YOU DIDN”"T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I’m still down to do blog talk tv. I DO have a web cam!!!! Go Me!!!!!! Lol”
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@V
You make a good point. I met a new version of myself last Sunday and I kinda couldn’t believe her… I was like whoa… this is me… yanno… That’s kinda weird but it’s definitely us.
I guess in some way, in love, you’re a different version of yourself. I wonder how many versions of myself I have. I mean they’re all me, but me in different situations.
@V…. I can see this… In “love” I’m more affectionate…. The affectionate side actually surprises me more than anything.
“Not out of the shake joint…I pray you are kidding…”
Im serious. You know I know computers, so I made sure it was solid.
“As the puppy love relationship progressed, did you revert back to the old you.”
Yes. I cant pretend for too long, it takes too much effort. But since I was insecure about myself I would do whatever it took. That was before I realized
b**ches aint sh*tI shouldnt have to do that.“LMAO. Ummmm I hope you disinfected it first.”
It was brand new in the box. The funny thing is I thought my girl was gonna be pissed that I blew $400 but she was pretty excited once she saw it.
@No More
That’s right… I might remotely let you into mine so you can do some tech support…
And I agree when you change you can only change so much for one and for two, you will gradually begin to revert. It’s human nature. That’s why I think all of the facets of our personalities have to meld together at some point.
That was before I realized b**ches aint sh*t I shouldnt have to do that. .
DEAD! LMAO
@V…. I can see this… In “love” I’m more affectionate…. The affectionate side actually surprises me more than anything. .
Me too. Well it doesn’t surprise me any more. I’m not really affectionate with friends. But I am with (immediate) family and SO’s. Ha!
That’s why I think all of the facets of our personalities have to meld together at some point. .
@ FB – I agree with this.
@V
I am a firm believer that when they meld together you are the whole person. And when you’re whole you’re the best you you can be.
On a side note, CBG, are you selling stationery?? I loves it!! If you are, I’m buying some!!
When I was mailing out invitations this week, I couldn’t remember the last time I received or mailed a letter/something hand written. I want to. I get tired of seeing bills in the mail, and I think most other people do too. So
in my head, I said I was going to write just because notes to people.@V
Didn’t you receive something semi-hand written in the mail from the Treehouse?
@CBG
Are you going to do Secret Santa this year as well? I’d think there’d be a lot less complications, but I’d have to know now… I CANNOT have my gift not getting there til January.
And I’m going to buy the Mistletoe Means… Card… iDig or iLove?
I’z only telling the CBG
@V
Didn’t you receive something semi-hand written in the mail from the Treehouse? .
You’re right I did! And I truly appreciated it!
It was still during sad times though…..I want to send just because….not because someone died. Lol.
Oh well…
Umm… we’ll work on that…
Lookah heah… ma’am beggers can’t be choosers!
I’ll send you a Christmas card… Is that good enough?
What say the ladies? Men, aside from the oft debated BLACKSUPERWOMAN complex, how does a woman with creative or even professional pursuits that have nothing to do with you fair in your own relationships. Do you prefer and encourage her to maintain her own identity? her own opinions (even the more contrary or controversial ones)? or Is this where feminism killed the black woman and her ability to have a relationship with her man.
If I ever get in a relationship again it will be with a woman that has her own life. I never want to be a woman’s “My Buddy” doll. I don’t define my manhood by being able to feed, cloth, and take care of a woman so her having her own identity is not a problem. I think people having their own identity in a relationship is a problem for those that see a relationship as an employee/worker relationship and not companionship.
If I ever get in a relationship again it will be with a woman that has her own life.
@Hummy… I’m bout to slap you because you in an e-one right now… LMAO
My bad I forgot I asked for divorce… Carry on
Hi Treehouse!
The dynamic you speak about is a very difficult line to thread. Finding the exact right balance is the holy grail, most
intelligentmen and women would like to reach.I have usually dated guys who were “enthusiastic” about me having my own hobbies/life outside of the relationship but when it came down to being in a serious something, the “enthusiasm” waned and it became more of a “is she going to be that way all the time?” kinda feel.
The guy I was previously engaged to
like 3-4 years agois a perfect exemple of a guy who talked the talk but had a harder time following with the walk. And I do believe it was a genuine struggle on his part. On the one hand, he liked that I was who I was with all that it entails but on the other hand, I know he couldn’t help but ask himself questions. Heck, he woke me up one day at 4am, after a girls-night out, so that we could “talk”… about how I was going to now have his name (thing we didn’t even discuss) and how I should behave accordingly. Long story short, he became more and more like the “conservative” types we used to make fun of. A couple of months later, I called it off… mostly because I was making a mistake and I knew it, and it was starting to be a bit scary.I think dynamic women all over the world will face that problem at some point or the other. Even in my current relationship, there is some fine tuning and tweaking that is constantly happening to make dynamic me and head of household him work. The holy grail has been found, but half the fun (I recently discovered) is in trying to get there.
(wow, I talk A LOT!
)
@LP
I think you have an excellent point. Half the fun is in figuring it out because it gives you the time to grow and get to know yourself AND your mate.
I do think there’s someone out there for everyone. And how do you balance these things? I think with a lot of conversation about the particulars of what each person expects and wants.
but half the fun (I recently discovered) is in trying to get there .
I wholeheartedly agree!
I never want to be a woman’s “My Buddy” doll. I .
I’m sorry but this is HILARIOUS.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=my+buddy+doll&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&aq=f&oq=&aqi=
Just came back from SSSO. I will miss Nicki and her sunshine.
Just came back from SSSO. I will miss Nicki and her sunshine. .
Me TOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Like a lot!! It’s not the same
Okay… So I have to tell y’all about what happened this weekend with my lil cousin… To give you a lil background on her… She’s a mess and needs to get it together quick fast and in a hurry.. But yet she’s my lil cousin so I try to remain active in her life to get her on the right foot..
So Friday night she begged me to go out with her to our local hole in the wall.Mind you this place don’t even open until like 1… They had the men in the back playing dice… Gambling.. Everything. It’s a mess.. So I meet her and and 2 of her friends up there… We walkin up to the place and her friend whispers to her go the other way…. So I’m standing there like what the heck because she straight DISAPPEARED. So I’m asking her friend like what’s going on… She proceeds to tell me she has beef with this almost 40 year old woman ( I think over a dude) who was standing by the door and how my lil cousin don’t want to fight her because that was her momma’s friend and etc…. The lady walks away and my cousin walked THE WHOLE WAY AROUND THE building to avoid her.. I forgot to mention I had walked back to see where my cousin was at and her butt was literally ducking behind cars.. It was that serious I guess..
So we get in the place… It’s straight hoodrat and dopeboy heaven.. I walk in there like none of them B’s got nothing on me. (cause they don’t) and I’m looking at the dopeboy’s like yep I c u seeing me but don’t even TRY IT….
I’m just talking but back to my story:
So we’re off in the cut. The lady has made her way in the place and she made her way over to where we were standing. At one point my lil cousin was on top of the stairs but she called her down. So they in the corner talking… And it seemed like a regular conversation… So then I turn around and the old woman yapping going off… Then I see the old woman hit her…. But then somebody came and pulled her away….
What did I do… Absolutely nothing. I’m sorry but the way my cousin was acting as far as the hiding and stuff showed she was GUILTY as heck… I was trying to get her to leave so I could take her home but she wasn’t on it…. I would have been embarrassed. She went to the bathroom for a while and then came back like nothing had happened.
Yeah so I had an interesting Friday night…
Heck, he woke me up one day at 4am, after a girls-night out, so that we could “talk”… about how I was going to now have his name (thing we didn’t even discuss) and how I should behave accordingly. .
LMAO. Middle of the night talks always crack me up. It’s like forreal, out of all the times to talk about this, now is the time you choose.
So we get in the place… It’s straight hoodrat and dopeboy heaven.. I walk in there like none of them B’s got nothing on me. (cause they don’t) and I’m looking at the dopeboy’s like yep I c u seeing me but don’t even TRY IT…. .
I haven’t even finished the story. I got to this part and had to comment. I QUIT you already!!
@80s
What in dopeboy heavens? That’s a whole lot of things. How old is said cousin…?
@80’s,
Wow… People really like to get themselves in very complex situations, don’t they? How old is your lil’ cousin?
OMG!! That story is CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you get to the bottom of the story??? Why did she have beef with a 40 year old woman?????? We all would’ve left when I found that out.
1) I’m too old to be in somebodys hole in the wall fighting
2) Because I would have probably pick up something and hit the woman…..depending on how close I was to the cousin. LOL
What in dopeboy heavens? .
Don’t act like you don’t know what dope boy heaven is. Where all the dope boys hang. White tee central. LOL
Wow… People really like to get themselves in very complex situations, don’t they? How old is your lil’ cousin?
@LP… My lil cousin is only 20… And thing is before I left I told my momma I was meeting her there.. And my momma said to me… If she gets in any kind of mess you stay out of it….. Right now she’s known for mess.
Not too long she had a lil boyfriend who she was arguing with at another party and her older male cousin went over there to see what was going on. Not to get involved with it but to you know to just look out for her. Her lil boyfriend hits him. He hits him back… Then about 20 young guys jump her older cousin and another one of his friends… Hurt them bad.. Like she literally had to jump on her older cousin to stop them from kicking him…
And that situation on Friday.. The woman had daughters and all kind of cousins in there… They were not about to misinterpret me trying to get my lil cousin as me jumping in to help her fight that older woman. Nope not trying to have that at all..
But I hear after I left the older woman ended up fighting somebody else
@ NONO…
That was before I realized b**ches aint sh*t I shouldnt have to do that.
”
DEMERITT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then about 20 young guys jump her older cousin and another one of his friends… Hurt them bad.. Like she literally had to jump on her older cousin to stop them from kicking him… .
Okay yeah this lil cousin is SUPER messy. I wouldn’t have met up with her either.
People who go places knowing people want to fight them?!?! Oh NO. I can’t do it. This face is too pretty to be getting phucked up!
Did you get to the bottom of the story??? Why did she have beef with a 40 year old woman?????? We all would’ve left when I found that out.
1) I’m too old to be in somebodys hole in the wall fighting
2) Because I would have probably pick up something and hit the woman…..depending on how close I was to the cousin. LOL
@V… I asked her like what the heck…. And she says that she had rhode with “supposed guy” and some other people to the Ritz (out of all places) and it got blew out of proportion and now people saying that she was messing with supposed dude…. And regarding that # 2. I’m gonna say what my great granny would say I wasn’t drunk and I wasn’t crazy… Girl, that family crazy. It would have been her family guys and girls trying to come after me if I would have gotten involved. LOL Like for real.
@ 80s – After the reading the story, I wouldn’t have went anywhere with her. And if I did, and ish popped off, yeah don’t look to me as back up.
I got am associate that stole a van (long story) from some d-boys. That heffa can’t come nowhere near me! She has people after her! LMAO
“If I ever get in a relationship again it will be with a woman that has her own life. I never want to be a woman’s “My Buddy” doll. I don’t define my manhood by being able to feed, cloth, and take care of a woman so her having her own identity is not a problem. I think people having their own identity in a relationship is a problem for those that see a relationship as an employee/worker relationship and not companionship.”
@ Hummy..this is where I see more an importance of balance. I do appreciate the notion of deferring. Like I don’t want to have all the answers for everything. But assuming he in areas of investing etc..I will gladly “follow”..I think you taking some of this to the extreme..which might be why you and 80s got an e-divorce LOL..
j/k
Okay yeah this lil cousin is SUPER messy. I wouldn’t have met up with her either.
@V… Yes she is… But I be trying to talk to her… I kind of feel bad for her because of her home life… But she got people who trying to help her so she need to do something…. She ain’t trying to hear it though.
I was with her but I wasn’t really with her..lol…. Like I made sure I kept my distance… Ha… I had an uncle in there so I went and chopped it up with him… I seen an old friend from high school and them some sisters who used to go to my church…. I just be in the working the room and making my rounds…. Once I had enough I was like I’m out this piece….
This summer she fought a pregnant girl. I called her like why you fight that pregnant girl. The pregnant girl threw bleach on her…. It’s a mess all the way around.
@ Vroom re: the comeback girl stationary..
yes thats my labor of love that was 3 years in the making..printed on fine paper from one of the oldest printers in Philly ..(late 1800s??)
anyhoot..I was gonna make my HSN presentation next week. LOL but if you feel so compelled to buy today. Please do. You can tell all the treehouse about the great quality.
re: Christmas..yes we can do secret santa..I may have to fire Jac as the secretary…
Ummmm let me find out the Middie low key gangsta out here. LOL
@V
Umm… in all the time I lived in NoLA the closest I got to that was Mardi Gras 05 when I went to this house and the people were snorting coke…
Yeah… see.. Not Jac
“I think dynamic women all over the world will face that problem at some point or the other. Even in my current relationship, there is some fine tuning and tweaking that is constantly happening to make dynamic me and head of household him work. The holy grail has been found, but half the fun (I recently discovered) is in trying to get there.”
@ LP..its been argued and debated for ages…so your boo is “the head of the household” ??? exact verbiage..your words??
@CBG
Jac is happy not to be secretary… Where should I e-mail these addresses to? I have them databased for easy reading… and before I send to make it easy I can add everyone’s birthday, anniversary, etc. if that would make it easier…
so next years person won’t forget after April like I did“Jac is happy not to be secretary”
Dont get your panties all in a bunch…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was KIDDING.
@CBG
That was a tinge of humor in that… LOL…
Nooo noo… the reason I asked is because if we’re going to do it we should start NOW LOL … you know how we get…
What time is blogtalktv?
Am I 100???
Blog talk is 9pm EST. is that good. I’ll send an email and a facebook annoucement..
also please don’t be stealin glue from your job. Thank you and amen.
80s you are 100 GIRL
http://members.home.nl/letskicksome/pinkroom/200943.mp3
Hi E..imma check this out. I got that Wynton Marsalis Christmas joint yesterday..and I’m riding around jamin christmas jazz like im crazy. LOL its tight tho.
Blog talk is 9pm EST. is that good.
@Comeback…That’s great.. I’ll be around for it…
anyhoot..I was gonna make my HSN presentation next week. LOL but if you feel so compelled to buy today. Please do. You can tell all the treehouse about the great quality. .
I’ll wait on the presentation. Or I’ll try to
9pm EST is wonderful…
I’ll be here…
How about my phone has been dead since Saturday.. I think I left my charger here in Ky…. And surprisingly I have NOT missed my phone one bit!!!!!!
How about my phone has been dead since Saturday.. I think I left my charger here in Ky…. And surprisingly I have NOT missed my phone one bit!!!!!! .
iCant. This is the chick, where if I leave it at home, at lunch I will drive 20 miles to retrieve it. But that’s mainly because the man blocked the majority of the sites I visited. If I had full internet access, I couldn’t care less whether I had the phone or not.
anybody I need to reach can be done through FB or email.I’m late.
Post was on point CBG. And I think it’s something we all have to learn in trial and error. personally I can’t stand no dude in my booty 24/7. It’s like gwan somewhere and keave me alone for a bit. Or showing up and taking over my hobbies. respect my space and hobbies and I’ll respect yours.
9pm EST is wonderful… .
What time does MNF come on?? LMAO
personally I can’t stand no dude in my booty 24/7. .
Yup Ima go ahead and quit you while the quitting is good. LOL
LOL @ V
I’m just saying.
iCant. This is the chick, where if I leave it at home, at lunch I will drive 20 miles to retrieve it. But that’s mainly because the man blocked the majority of the sites I visited. If I had full internet access, I couldn’t care less whether I had the phone or not. anybody I need to reach can be done through FB or email .
@V… It’s actually been real peaceful. Surprisingly I remembered quite a few people numbers…. Only thing is I couldn’t think of my mom’s work number to tell her I made it this morning.. .And my aunt wasn’t answering… You know how people be with numbers they don’t know… LOL
I’m probably just missing a thousand text messages from my uncle… LOL
I’m probably just missing a thousand text messages from my uncle… LOL .
The uncle that sends you the crazy text messages that you pass on to me???
oh okay. That’s why I haven’t gotten anything from you? LMAO
oh okay. That’s why I haven’t gotten anything from you? LMAO
@V… Yep…Ha Ha Ha… It’s been no good ones lately though.
and I’m riding around jamin christmas jazz like im crazy. LOL its tight tho. .
**SIDE-EYE **
“I’m late.
Post was on point CBG. And I think it’s something we all have to learn in trial and error. personally I can’t stand no dude in my booty 24/7. It’s like gwan somewhere and keave me alone for a bit. Or showing up and taking over my hobbies. respect my space and hobbies and I’ll respect yours.
”
@ Zsa..i think its the only kid in me too. I dunno.
” and I’m riding around jamin christmas jazz like im crazy. LOL its tight tho. .
**SIDE-EYE **
”
ITS NICE THO VROOM..lol
@CBG
Maybe you’re right… only kids need space… I like to be alone… I don’t really know why… even when the boo is over I’m like… I’m going to the bedroom, office, kitchen…
@No More
As I think I am not boyfriend-material in the least, I think most of the reason women still view me as such is because I let them be them all the time. I tell them to pursue their hobbies, hang out with friends, go network, take classes, etc. I dont need to see you every day.
I treated a woman lik ethis and she asked me why I left her so free
@Comeback
I think you taking some of this to the extreme..which might be why you and 80s got an e-divorce LOL..
Didn’t you stay next to Eddie Murphy in Boomerang?
,
I think you taking some of this to the extreme..which might be why you and 80s got an e-divorce LOL..
Didn’t you stay next to Eddie Murphy in Boomerang? .
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
But what makes it even funnier is wasn’t that Tinisha Campbell aka Gina????
“BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
But what makes it even funnier is wasn’t that Tinisha Campbell aka Gina????”
im dead.
“sometimes i feel I’m from another world
when I’m tryn to tell these just exactly where I stand at
I want a girl when I want a girl
And when I don’t want a girl, I want a girl who understands that” – phonte of little brother
That has nothing to do with anything, I just like that rap lol
What’s up everybody?
But what makes it even funnier is wasn’t that Tinisha Campbell aka Gina????
@V… You mean Tisha Campbell….. LMAO
What up whyso?!?!
@ CBG – I take back the side eyeing of your Xmas music. I feel like it’s been Christmas in the treehouse today.
AllMost of the menfolk showed up today.Hallejuah!
LMAO
I’m ready to go!
Hey Why so!!!!!!!!
@V… You mean Tisha Campbell….. LMAO .
I must have had someone else on the brain. LOL
I must have had someone else on the brain. LOL
@V… Ha Ha Ha Ha
@V, 80s
I just caught that… WOW… You two are a mess.. (and might possibly take over the world… a la.. pinky and the brain!)
Hey Why… Long time no talk to!
*whispers* Ummmm how about I don’t even remember Boomerang…. So I don’t even get the joke… LMAO
haha what’s up yall….been busy with work, raps, etc and all that jazz.
I see everything is still going strong over here. And that, makes me happy.
CHEA!
@CBG,
so your boo is “the head of the household” ??? exact verbiage..your words??
Surprising, ain’t it?
. Yes he actually is. And I actually think that’s what I am looking for, it’s just that my brand of “head of household” might look slightly different than somebody else’s. I adhere to the common thinking that most women are looking for security in a relationship, where I slightly diverge is that security looks different depending on which woman you are talking. For some, it might be money-related, for others it might someone who makes the decision for everybody, yet for others it could just be that proverbial person to whom they can unfold their burden safely. My security is the latter. So it will not be uncommon that my “head of the household” looks nothing like the typical Type A man… actually he looks nothing like the typical Type A male. He is the head of my household because I can remove my cape in his presence and just be.
All in all, it’s just semantics and how we perceive/understand a notion. Hope it’s clearer.
@WhyWhy..hi we chillin like bob dillan with a guitar and some booze..
“Surprising, ain’t it?
. Yes he actually is. And I actually think that’s what I am looking for, it’s just that my brand of “head of household” might look slightly different than somebody else’s. I adhere to the common thinking that most women are looking for security in a relationship, where I slightly diverge is that security looks different depending on which woman you are talking. For some, it might be money-related, for others it might someone who makes the decision for everybody, yet for others it could just be that proverbial person to whom they can unfold their burden safely. My security is the latter. So it will not be uncommon that my “head of the household” looks nothing like the typical Type A man… actually he looks nothing like the typical Type A male. He is the head of my household because I can remove my cape in his presence and just be.”
@ LP..thats a-right!!!
@LP… Hope you can make it later on for blog tv!!!! What time does your class end?
@80’s,
@LP… Hope you can make it later on for blog tv!!!! What time does your class end?
It ends at 9pm Central…
…
I’ll probably sneak in class and watch y’all… if the plantation laptop allows me to download stuff… If anything, I’ll be with you in spirit…
*whispers* Ummmm how about I don’t even remember Boomerang…. So I don’t even get the joke… LMAO .
Who are you?
I’ll probably sneak in class and watch y’all… if the plantation laptop allows me to download stuff… If anything, I’ll be with you in spirit .
Would yall be mad if I was live and direct at the bar? I would go outside!
I’m out… Let me go home and get in vision board mode….. See ya’ll later
Bye 80s..
I need to go to Targae’ and get some supplies.
@LP
You don’t have to download for BTTV… it’s just a site you go on.
And I like your definition of head of household… that’s how I feel too…
If I can just sit down and sigh.. we are good … especially if you just understand.
@EJAM,
I am listening to the link you posted and it’s excellent music!!! Who makes it and is it available and where can I support the artist(s) and get more of the music?
Ummmm what’s the site for blogtv??? blogtv.com?
i think it’s blogtalktv.com
CBG will send out a link later…