The Resume T-Shirt and Pens (by Irina Blok)
My cousin who turned 20 a few months ago needs a job. I’m still excited that his whole world is full of possibilities, but he can’t muster much enthusiasm. Perhaps excitement isn’t cool, but neither is being unemployed.
He has learned a trade (electrician’s apprentice/helper) and was laid off about a month ago. On my mother’s side of the family, those who didn’t go to college (all but one of her siblings), learned a skill. I’m at an age where most of my little cousins still think I’m young enough to be “dope”. (wait, is “dope” what 18-20 year olds say). But I’m old enough to have what I say matter, at least to them.
And over the past few days by just talking to my cousin and helping him with his resume, I’m re-orientating myself with some things that even I’ve forgetten as a working professional.
5 Things I Learned From My Little Cousin About Employment, Idea Generation & Business
1. Cultivate Relationships, Keep In Touch & Scratch A Few Backs: I asked my cousin the other day if he still talked to the teachers and other students at his trade school. He said “No, basically I just went to school and came home.” I told him that wasn’t such a great move. And then I drove home thinking to myself how insular my own working life has become. I can’t remember the last time I’ve really networked, not including those bullsh!t clubs where you drink and give dudes numbers, while everybody asks each other what they do. Knowing good and da!mn well, they’re only extracting income and being nosey. I’m talking about REAL networking. Going places where other like professionals hang out (and not soley hook up). Remembering peers and bosses who gave you a good recommendation, sending them a note, a Christmas card or a gift when they have a kid. Recommending people who are good at what they do. In short, getting your Quid Quo Pro on. My little cousin recently taught me, I have a few phone calls to make. A few Christmas Card lists to revise. A few favors to return. It all comes back, particularly in the underground job/vendor market. There are jobs and opportunities that are announced and then there are most other jobs/opportunities that never see the light of paper or ethernet. Because the best opportunities often go to personal contacts people have made over time.
2. Have “other things” In The Hopper:My cousin is still pretty young, and while he’s not really working to eat and have a roof over his head, he should be always thinking about other forms of income too. Besides “the studio”. I hate to break it to him (and though I never say it aloud), though his myspace page is tight, rapping is not my idea of “other things in the hopper.” Everybody has a skill they can “sell” especially as part of the “job sector” shifts to “cheaper work”, a la contract based. I had recently gotten really complacent. And in many ways I still am. And because of my complacency, I think I’ve missed a few opportunities too. Every time I work on one particular project, I see the something I just let go and never pursued. And in some ways its frankly too late for THAT one thing. But its not for others.
3. Get Excited Damm!it: I think I was an excited kid. A teenager. And even an adult. But my cousin can’t muster up enthusiasm to save his life, or get a job. When I talk to him, I feel like I’m on a sedative. Maybe because he’s a boy. Or “too cool for school”. Or maybe because he really wasn’t intellectually stimulated as a child, though when he came over our house my mother made stuff more interesting and fun.
But seeing his lackluster approach and outlook makes me hope and pray he turns his attitude around. Unexcited, boring a!ss people don’t get AND KEEP jobs. If you can’t or don’t love what you do, your work WILL suffer. That is a guarantee. And thats not to say you WILL love everything about your work. You won’t, but dam!n if you can’t find anything about it or its potential that puts a pep in your step- just don’t wake up tomorrow morning.
4. Stop Believing People Owe You A Job: I think the recent economy in some ways has developed a weird entitlement about work. No one OWES anybody a job. Bottom line, you have a skill, trade or profession that becomes a commodity. You have a person/industry willing to pay you for your services. Badda Bing Badda Boom. The two meet. I believe that the unemployed need to become entrepreneurial about their job, even if being an entrepreneur is not in their skill set or risk tolerance. Thinking about their job in terms of the DIRECT impact to revenue and growing the business or organization. How can you make these people MORE money? How can you make them SPEND LESS? How can you quantify what you need to make in relationship with what you can do for them?
5. Navigate Your Own Ship: Sure my cousin is still really young, but I think about the fact that I AM rewriting his resume in the comfort of my own home. In essence, I’m navigating his ship. I did spend some time on the computer with him, but I didn’t want to make him feel like I was working over him or being a task master. But I was thinking how we give our own level of control away, when we stop dreaming. When we stop taking actionable steps toward things we “jawbone” but never do.
ok. I’m off to finish his resume.
Good advice!
Cool tshirt!!
I like all the advice, all of us csn learn from this
Morning, y’all!
@cbg: That t-shirt is cool. Great post. Great advice.
I strongly agree with #1. It definitely makes a difference when you have mentors (at every stage of a career), colleagues and just good, old fashioned contacts. That’s what networking is all about…meeting someone new, taking their card (or connecting the Pokens), staying in touch from time to time and keeping them in mind when you are able to refer people to them and send business their way and they do the same in return. You’re right; quid pro quo is a valuable concept to grasp. Rarely, if at all, do people make it to the top (or as high as they desire to go) on their own. In the professional world it’s always been about who are you, why should I know you, what can you do for me, etc…
btw…I’m only working a 1/2 day today. Tonight is concert night. SOOOO excited!
Good advice, Comeback.
Hey Treehousers.
I think the no excitement thing pretty much is what the young black kids are doing. I see it in my little cousin.
He just graduated and he’s been acting out a bit. Nothing too bad, but still, for us, it’s different because no one in my family has been through this.
He doesn’t know what he wants to do now- he doesn’t want to go to college right now. He said he just wants to make money. He is saying Army is an option right now (I wonder if he’s following in his dad’s footsteps) but this is a new day, we now have a war. None of us want him to go but he’s 18 now.
BUT ANYWHO, back to the post. I just wish kids wanted it as bad as we wanted it for them.
I meant to include a link for Poken since it’s still a new thing… http://www.doyoupoken.com/PokenWeb/corporate/welcome.jsf
Does anyone use this? How do you like it?
That’s pretty cool, Shawnie, but this is the first I’ve heard of it.
@Comeback
If your cousin was in an apprentice why doesn’t he go to school to finish his classes to get his journeyman’s card. If he gets the classes out of the way all he has to worry about is getting his hours.
Good morning y’all!!!!
Great advice Comeback
@Nicki: I don’t use it either. I read about it a few months ago & every now and then I see people with them but until more people are using them, I think it defeats the purpose.
“but until more people are using them, I think it defeats the purpose.”
Exactly!
Great Advice!
I would add know the industry of the field you’re in. Or if you’re applying at a company, study the company prior to going to the interview. It’s suprises me anytime I go into an interview and the person has no clue what the company does, the industry. Nothing. It’s like “You want to work here why? You don’t even know what we do. How do you know you will like it?”
@V Renee
You work in HR?
I would take your “get excited” bullet a step further and say find your passion!
I get excited about work on many occassions, but I know this isn’t my passion. My passion is what’s “in the hopper” while my “exciting” job pays the bills and sets me square for retirement.
@ Zach and Mik
thks.
“I would take your “get excited” bullet a step further and say find your passion!
I get excited about work on many occassions, but I know this isn’t my passion. My passion is what’s “in the hopper” while my “exciting” job pays the bills and sets me square for retirement.”
@Offey: Great point. Everyone would be much happier & better off doing what they enjoy and loving (vs. dreading) going to work. I’m not quite there but I’m definitely trying to get there.
“taking their card (or connecting the Pokens), ”
@ Shawnta…i was wondering what this was. I’m checking it out now.
What concert are you seeing?
“Good advice, Comeback.
Hey Treehousers.
I think the no excitement thing pretty much is what the young black kids are doing. I see it in my little cousin.
He just graduated and he’s been acting out a bit. Nothing too bad, but still, for us, it’s different because no one in my family has been through this.
He doesn’t know what he wants to do now- he doesn’t want to go to college right now. He said he just wants to make money. He is saying Army is an option right now (I wonder if he’s following in his dad’s footsteps) but this is a new day, we now have a war. None of us want him to go but he’s 18 now.
BUT ANYWHO, back to the post. I just wish kids wanted it as bad as we wanted it for them.
”
@ Sunny I totally agree…It might be a boy thing. But my girl cousin who is 16 acts similiarly. But at least she sorta kinda excited about working at starbucks. (poor chile…wait until i come in there ordering my triple grande 180 degrees, upside down…..concoction…LOL. I can’t wait.
Anywhoo…im not sure why that is exactly.
“If your cousin was in an apprentice why doesn’t he go to school to finish his classes to get his journeyman’s card. If he gets the classes out of the way all he has to worry about is getting his hours.”
@ Hummy…
See I asked him something similiar and since I don’t nothing about electrician’s apprentices I was drilling him on what I’ve heard or read.
Like can’t the union help him to become an apprentice or helper? I’ll ask him about the journeyman card. Thnks hummy.
“I think the no excitement thing pretty much is what the young black kids are doing. ”
I see this too in my younger sister and brother, though it’s finally starting to change as they hover around 25. I blame it on our music and popular icons. Young people couldn’t tell you where Barack went to undergrad or that a new HBCU-educated Surgeon General was just appointed, but they can tell you that Usher doesn’t think his 2nd kid with his soon-to-be ex-wife is his. That is a problem… a major problem.
So, when you extol the virtues of school and education, all they see is the paycheck after graduation so they can start to afford the clothes Lil Wayne wears, and not so they can find their passion, even if it pays peanuts.
@ 80s..thanks
@ Vroom
““You want to work here why? You don’t even know what we do. How do you know you will like it?””
I think alot of people in this economy are just looking for work. They aren’t thinking about not having work may mean to look for something that they can get passionate about (to offey’s point).
“Everyone would be much happier & better off doing what they enjoy and loving (vs. dreading) going to work. I’m not quite there but I’m definitely trying to get there.”
Amen!
“Sunny I totally agree…It might be a boy thing. But my girl cousin who is 16 acts similiarly. But at least she sorta kinda excited about working at starbucks. (poor chile…wait until i come in there ordering my triple grande 180 degrees, upside down…..concoction…LOL. I can’t wait.”
LMBO. Don’t confuse the girl. Starbucks seems like a nice job for young folks. They are always so nice when I go in there.
Starbucks and Chick-Fil-A cashiers are the nicest.
“So, when you extol the virtues of school and education, all they see is the paycheck after graduation so they can start to afford the clothes Lil Wayne wears, and not so they can find their passion, even if it pays peanuts.”
I agree. I think they are all about the dollar signs RIGHT NOW… instead of taking the popular measures to ensure the money is made in the long run.
“I get excited about work on many occassions, but I know this isn’t my passion. My passion is what’s “in the hopper” while my “exciting” job pays the bills and sets me square for retirement.”
@ Offey..
I agree …sorta. I mean I’m not boiling over with love with my profession anymore. In fact most days it down right bores me. But there are things about it that still stimulate and chlallenge me.
I think thats the same with anything. My first first job was a receptionist. I hated it. I hated people telling me to go sharpen pencil ….but I noticed that when I half way tried to LIKE sharpening pencils..the day went by faster and i was more likable person to work with.
I think the bottom line about being fired and laid off is less about productivity and MORE about likability. If you got an attitidue all the time about sharpening a pencil..you wont stay.
I am a true advocate of finding your passion. Id rather be doing something i love vs something thats just a check.
“I think the bottom line about being fired and laid off is less about productivity and MORE about likability”
@CBG: I can buy that, even if that isn’t the majority of the time, but certainly an appreciable amount. Work is all about finding your niche, your part to play in the bigger team. When you carve out your role, not functionally but socially, you are harder to let go than the loner who is very productive.
@ Shawnta..i just finished reading about pokem..(it sounds like pokemon)…its a neat concept. So you have to carry around that little usb device???
I read something last night about this tee shirt party called green, yellow, red dating…where you approach and meet people based on their shirt color, which corresponds to their dating status..its not really similiar but I just thought of that for some reason.
“I am a true advocate of finding your passion. Id rather be doing something i love vs something thats just a check.”
@ Mik..I agree..but sometimes I wonder if this is the most responsible message at all times. Like a mother with two kids and no husband or financial support.
She’s gotta find a job, and extract and or look for passion later.
@Comeback
“See I asked him something similiar and since I don’t nothing about electrician’s apprentices I was drilling him on what I’ve heard or read.
Like can’t the union help him to become an apprentice or helper? I’ll ask him about the journeyman card. Thnks hummy.”
Your welcome. If he is an apprentice he should be working under a journeyman. He should really try to get that card. The card is certified by the Dept. of Labor. Once he becomes a journeyman he can take that anywhere.
“but sometimes I wonder if this is the most responsible message at all times”
Passion the luxury of the young and the well-to-do. And no matter how important it may be to have one, it will always play second-fiddle to survival.
However, for the young person with no major bills, no spouse, no kids, etc…. they have no excuse for not chasing their passion except greed or ignorance.
@Hummy…. I forgot you were a handyman……
@offdwall
“So, when you extol the virtues of school and education, all they see is the paycheck after graduation so they can start to afford the clothes Lil Wayne wears, and not so they can find their passion, even if it pays peanuts.”
This way of thinking is a serious problem. Especially here in Detroit. People think you go to school to get a job. You go to college to learn. They byproduct of what you learn is a job. You get paid b/c of the knowledge you are supposed to have obtained by going to college.
Random: I am watching this seven minute video of Frankie getting a tattoo with her 22 year old fiance’s name and I just find it hard to believe she’s still not on crack.
And She doesn’t know the order her kids were born in and if she has 7 or 8 kids.
@80s
“I forgot you were a handyman”
I’m not a handyman. Where did you get that from?
“Random: I am watching this seven minute video of Frankie getting a tattoo with her 22 year old fiance’s name and I just find it hard to believe she’s still not on crack.”
@ Sunny…speaking of BET..You know I like Toya and Tiny…they both have alot of sense. I blame hiphop they would like for us to believe that none of these women are wrapped too tight. But it seems like dude has ALOT Of love for Tiny. And Toya..well wasn’t she 15 when she got married to Wayne?
@cbg:
1. “What concert are you seeing?”
Maxwell & Chrisette Michele. LOVE both of ‘em & can’t wait.
2. “I read something last night about this tee shirt party called green, yellow, red dating…where you approach and meet people based on their shirt color, which corresponds to their dating status..its not really similiar but I just thought of that for some reason.”
Hmm…this sounds like a slight twist on speed dating.
3. “So you have to carry around that little usb device???”
Yup; I think so. I don’t have one but I think it’s neat too. But again, it’ll only work once it’s more popular and lots of other people carry one to trade contact info with you. I guess it’s sort of like a “LinkedIn” at your fingertips…
“BET..You know I like Toya and Tiny…they both have alot of sense. I blame hiphop they would like for us to believe that none of these women are wrapped too tight. But it seems like dude has ALOT Of love for Tiny. And Toya..well wasn’t she 15 when she got married to Wayne?”
@Comeback: Yep, she was 15…. I haven’t caught but about 15 minutes of the Tiny and Toya show.. Tiny’s voice was irking me but I did like her mama. I saw the part where she was basically wanting to work but I don’t think T.I. wanted her to work.
@Hummy… I didn’t mean an official Handyman but aren’t you a fix it myself kind of guy….. I thought it’s been discussed here where you do a lot of work on your house yourself….
“Your welcome. If he is an apprentice he should be working under a journeyman. He should really try to get that card. The card is certified by the Dept. of Labor. Once he becomes a journeyman he can take that anywhere.
”
I’ll ask..his resume says he has an “eletrician’s certificate”. But I’mma call his little but in a few minutes and ask him whats up with that card.
“@Comeback: Yep, she was 15…. I haven’t caught but about 15 minutes of the Tiny and Toya show.. Tiny’s voice was irking me but I did like her mama. I saw the part where she was basically wanting to work but I don’t think T.I. wanted her to work.”
Check Youtube…they’ve got the whole first episode..after i listened to Sotomayor being drilled yesterday..i was listening to that while i worked.
I m gonna have to check Ms. Frankie…my tv stays on HSN (shut up LOL) i love watching people sell stuff.
@Nick & Comeback…. I don’t think they were married at 15 that was more like 19… But she definitely had Reginae at 15…..
I don’t think the show is as bad as I thought it was gonna be…….. Toya is trying to get away from Lil Wayne’s baby momma title and I don’t blame her…..
“@Hummy… I didn’t mean an official Handyman but aren’t you a fix it myself kind of guy….. I thought it’s been discussed here where you do a lot of work on your house yourself….”
@ Hummy..i thought so too. cant you build fabulous cabinets with two peices of paper and some string.
YES 80s. That’s what I do know. She had a child at 15. I am not sure when they got married (I didn’t ever hear about him being married back then!)
@Comeback: Cool. I’mma go watch the show. I did see Toya looking for her mama. That was so sad. I saw Iman selling something this weekend and instantly thought of you. lol.
The cooking stuff always has me hypnotized.
@80s
“I didn’t mean an official Handyman but aren’t you a fix it myself kind of guy….. I thought it’s been discussed here where you do a lot of work on your house yourself….”
This is true. I thought you meant that I did that for a living. I misunderstood you. My fault.
@ Sunny
Im sure you’re already found it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQY59zlibBk
part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I8XLgLP1xI
i’m listening to Sotomayor again on wpfw online..this woman is so composed..she is getting grilled on Roe v. Wade now.
This is true. I thought you meant that I did that for a living. I misunderstood you. My fault.
@Hummy….Gotcha… I was over here like now I know I just didn’t make that up…
@Comeback: Nope I hadn’t found it yet.. as soon as I said I was looking for it, I was on a frigging blog. LOL.
I’m watchign for real this time.
Gosh Tiny’s voice????
If this kiddie pic is of Tiny, (when she’s holding the baby), she actually used to be cute.
Maybe it’s this blond hair.
And I’m back. I TOTALLY forgot I had a meeting this morning. Ooooppppsss.
@ Hummy @V Renee
You work in HR?
.
Nope! We’re still involved in the interview process for our group. Min. of 3 interviews required. Often times more.
I haven’t seen the Tiny/Toya show…..I probably won’t either. Wait is T.I. on the show at all???
Maybe it’s this blond hair.
@Toya….The blond hair I can tolerate…. It’s them lips…I just don’t remember her lips lookin like that back in her Xscape days
“I think the bottom line about being fired and laid off is less about productivity and MORE about likability” .
This is the TRUTH!!
“I think the bottom line about being fired and laid off is less about productivity and MORE about likability”
Cosign 100%. I was just telling my boy about this but he didn’t get it. I’ve been through a few lay-offs. I noticed that productivity is not the deciding factor in who they keep. I’ve seen more likable dead weight keep their job than productive workers.
@Toya….The blond hair I can tolerate…. It’s them lips…I just don’t remember her lips lookin like that back in her Xscape days .
And her boobs. They’re lopsided, with a huge tatt on them. I don’t like boob tats. I have a cousin that has red bone tatted on her tit. It looks ri-damn-diculous!
@V, Nope T.I. is in jail… At the first exerpt, she was saying he was preparing for jail time but they never show him.
I think her lips are weird too.. she has definitely gotten some collagen in the top one. UGH.
Toya is really pretty too though… they just need speech lessons.
I just finished to shows!
@Nick….. Ooooops my bad….
about the gov’t slipupI think Toya is really pretty too…. I was so surprised to hear how she talked though….. I’ve seen her on the blogs and stuff but I never heard her talk……. When I heard her talk for the first time I was like wow!!!! But she just straight up sound like she from the NO.
@Nick….. Ooooops my bad…. about the gov’t slipup .
Ha. And I thought you were referring to T&T. You could’ve played it off.
@80s
You’re out here just exposing identities. tsk tsk
Hi Treehousers!!
Beautiful and powerful entry! And so true too!
I have been working my arse off lately to complete a project that has gone on for way too long. At first, my attitude was to do the tasks, I was allocated and move on. But I realized that my real job is to get the project completed and sent off. So, my attitude has been to work on whatever needs to be worked on, whether it was assigned to me or not. It doesn’t help that the project manager is a very
cluelessazz kisser who will turn anything into a shining moment for her… but ultimately my name is attached to the project and a successful completion of it benefits me.That change in attitude made me stay from 7:15am to 11:46pm yesterday… and back this morning at 7:30am… but sh!t needs to get done, and heck I’ll do it.
lol. I didn’t notice it either. I thought the same as V!
Hey Lovely.
@V…. I didn’t even realize I had did that until you had posted it…. LMAO
@Hummy…. Man… I’m slipping….. I’ve did that twice this week.
That change in attitude made me stay from 7:15am to 11:46pm yesterday… and back this morning at 7:30am… but sh!t needs to get done, and heck I’ll do it. .
Hey LP! I thought I was going to have to put an Amber alert out for you.
Exactly. Sometimes sh*t has to be done, whether it’s your “job” or not. There’s a chick here who irritates the heck out of me. She’s always crying about how something isn’t her “job”. It’s like she the phuck up and do it.
Good luck with everything LP…
And yes V was about to put out an Amber Alert for you….
I have also been learning a lot of lessons from my sister.
Growing up, the four of us had very different types of intelligence. I had the understanding-quick-analytical type. The sister after me had the consciencious-applied-if I focus on anything I can make it work type of intelligence. My baby sister had the witty and repartee like smarts. So we all excelled in Science on top of the rest… My 3rd sister (the one living with me) was always a very dreamy, creative type child, so Sciences were not her forte at all. And back home, there is so much emphasis put on sciences (and so little on creative thinking/humanities etc…) that for the longest she felt like she was not smart… And if you lived in my house, you would understand how crushing that was. My parents (especially my dad) are sticklers for smarts… Anyways, long story short…
She chose Psychology as a major in undergrad, and of course the good immigrants were appalled that she didn’t choose the traditional paths: engineering, med school, sciences or law.
Anyways, the first couple of years, my sis would wake up every morning at 5:00 o’clock and take two busses to get to school. And the same thing back… She never missed a class… ever. Nowadays, her boyfriend moved to Houston and has the car so she doesn’t use the bus as much. She didn’t want to get a car financed and solely rely on me for making the payments (she works part time on campus)… Never used it as an excuse.
She has worked so hard and now has a 3.9 GPA, one semester away from graduation. I was the one explaining to my -wait for this- sociologist/psychologist of a father how she should be able to do what she really likes instead of what we think will help her find a job.
Now, her next step is to complete her grad school applications and pass the GRE. She is going directly for a phD in Public Health/Community Health… and personally? I am gunning for Yale!
*ok, I realize how gushy I sound… but I never get to tell her this stuff often, so I needed to say it. Forgive me.
*
That is pretty great Lovely. Your sister did her thing, even when others weren’t really seeing her goal.
Congratulations!
@LP… Kudos to your lil sis!!!!! Great example of someone knowing what they want to do and having the courage to do it even though it wasn’t the norm!!!!!!
Awwwwwww congrats to your sister!!!
You should be the proud older sister and gush on her. I’m sure she gushes on you too…..
“*ok, I realize how gushy I sound… but I never get to tell her this stuff often, so I needed to say it. Forgive me. *
”
@ LP..that is FAB..
@CBG-I actually like the Tiny & Toya show on one hand it is my guilty ghetto pleasure but then again they are trying to better themselves so I can give them a look.
I think Tiny looks a hot mess because of TI she seems stressed out because she is bored and she got a man that feels that since she has everything (his definition) then she should be happy.
Toya needs a life because you have a baby at 14 get married at 20 and divorced at 22. The girl has no life except lil wayne.
I just want both of them to get speech classes and a makeover.
I will not and cannot watch “Frankie & Neffie”
Morning everyone ….
Comeback, like I told you yesterday, No. 5 is the most important thing on this list … it kinda takes care of the rest ….
When you do your own stuff, you tend to take better care of it and care more about it … He should have been sitting there the entire time with you …
I’m just now hearing about Richard Jefferson leaving his fiance at the alter though.
http://blogs.usatoday.com/gameon/2009/07/richard-jefferson-gets-at-dnp-at-his-own-wedding.html
@LP: That is so sweet. You sound like such a proud, big sister!!! Congrats!
@Bgrits
“I think Tiny looks a hot mess because of TI she seems stressed out because she is bored and she got a man that feels that since she has everything (his definition) then she should be happy.”
I heard about this. If this is how TI thinks then he is no different than a lot of dudes. Women don’t understand that when men make enough money that you don’t have to work they expect you to know your role and play your position.
But it says he didn’t really leave her…. When someone says leave, I think of that Bridezilla show where this ninja never showed up and she was in her dress.
Richard told her and she had time to tell her fam/friends not to come.
“Women don’t understand that when men make enough money that you don’t have to work they expect you to know your role and play your position.”
I can play my position and be your wife and mother, taking care of home, but I CANNOT play my position and turn a blind eye to grimey activity.
@ D..thats true..you’re right which is why i feel a little uninspired about finishing his resume ..because he should want this more for himself. But i still learned some valuable lessons though in his voyage.
@ Sunny
re: Rich Jeff..(btw i didn’t know who the hell he was until i clicked on the link LOL)
but his fiance was quoted: i was “surprised but not totally caught off guard” something like that…
then ok heffa …then why did you show up? If I have ANY doubt and suspects he does too…why waste that kind of time and money..
even given the mandarin being like one of the best hotels EVER…and massages..shout out to shikira LOL..
Women don’t understand that when men make enough money that you don’t have to work they expect you to know your role and play your position.
@Hummy……Screw that way of thinking… No thank you!!!!! No husband of mine better expect me to stay in my lane….
“then ok heffa …then why did you show up? If I have ANY doubt and suspects he does too…why waste that kind of time and money..
even given the mandarin being like one of the best hotels EVER…and massages..shout out to shikira LOL..”
@Comeback. LMAO bc I had no clue who he was either, people are talking about it on Facebook everywhere. lol.
I wonder what happened to make it not be such a surprise to her.
@Nicki
“I CANNOT play my position and turn a blind eye to grimey activity.”
There are many exceptions to the rule but a lot of these guys expect you to turn a blind eye. After all he is feeding, clothing, and putting a roof over your head.
I wonder what happened to make it not be such a surprise to her.
”
@ Sunny..it says he called it off 11 hours before!!! why did she still show up..why didn’t she call his family and friends to let them know??
this is what happens when marriage is the woman’s idea.
@Nick… Kudos to him for realizing he wasn’t ready for marriage or whatever the situation was…… I’d rather a fiance be honest with me rather than going along with wedding because he don’t want to hurt my feelings….
Heck stuff happens… I’ll eventually get over it.
“There are many exceptions to the rule but a lot of these guys expect you to turn a blind eye. After all he is feeding, clothing, and putting a roof over your head.”
I agree!!!
@cbg,
Dead @ the shout out to shikira.
She knew that mess… Yes, it’s sad and when it’s that late in the game there is mostly no changed that can be done… BUT I would have gone there with my girlfriends/fam and have a friggin’ blast. Why waste a good party? She could have recouped that by even inviting people from homeless shelters and then claim it on taxes…
I understand she must be devastated, but I would have not wasted good food like that.
“After all he is feeding, clothing, and putting a roof over your head.”
Well one baller wife flipped the script..wasn’t it shawnie??(sp) Shaq’s wife who started to move money.
there is a price for being kept..these women need to wise up.
I knew the guys last name but never knew that was his first name… So I had an idea of who’s pic was gonna pop up….
But the players aren’t supposed to be fratenizing with the dancers anyway…. So what’s up with that???????
“why did she still show up..why didn’t she call his family and friends to let them know??
this is what happens when marriage is the woman’s idea”
@Comeback: 11 hours? WOW. Maybe she thought she could convince him? I wonder if she was trying to.
” I’d rather a fiance be honest with me rather than going along with wedding because he don’t want to hurt my feelings”
@80s: Me too. Divorce is expensive and stressful. Nothanks.
BUT I would have gone there with my girlfriends/fam and have a friggin’ blast. Why waste a good party?
@LP…. Same here…. We would have been partyin!!!!! To a theme of No Regrets!!!!!
this is what happens when marriage is the woman’s idea.
BINGO!!!!!
“but I would have not wasted good food like that. ”
DEAD at the thought of Chomping down all that good cake and wine.
“But the players aren’t supposed to be fratenizing with the dancers anyway…. So what’s up with that???????”
I didn’t know that, 80s… didn’t they say former dancer (I am reciting from memory so I could be wrong), but maybe that’s why she quit.
“Shaq’s wife who started to move money.”
Comeback used the GANGSTA TALK. lol. I would love to not have to work but I would still work because you gotta keep your own money just in case.
“this is what happens when marriage is the woman’s idea.
BINGO!!!!!
”
@ LP..i can’t believe you agree..usuallly you looking for silver lining alternate judgement LOL..
@80’s,
…. Same here…. We would have been partyin!!!!! To a theme of No Regrets!!!!!
Or “One more time, I wanna celebrate”! (which incidentally will be my second song on the dance floor)…
Speaking of weddings, we are kinda tending/thinking towards doing the ceremony here instead of home (complicated work obligations)… So when/if it’s confirmed, I will let y’all know… I ain’t got most of my fam here, so y’all would be my fam… oki?
I didn’t know that, 80s… didn’t they say former dancer (I am reciting from memory so I could be wrong), but maybe that’s why she quit.
@Nick….Girl yeah…… Absolutely no FRATERNIZATION allowed…It still happens though.. But it’s not supposed to. Even Dwight Howard got a baby by a dancer of his team…
So when I seen former dancer in that article I assumed she probably quit once they decided to out their relationship…..
‘Comeback used the GANGSTA TALK. lol. I would love to not have to work but I would still work because you gotta keep your own money just in case.”
LOL…i told yall!!! LOL..
@ Sunny..i don’t know if my coins would really matter to a man whose bringing in 100 million darlls a year?? how much does somebody like Shaq make..
so if Im living in the house, driving the cars and he’s acting like im despensible.. IM MOVING MONEY…
affair= 10 million a month to a swiss bank account
affair with an ugly woman= + 25 more million
when the public finds out= 30 million
if it gets on E Hollywood= 15 million
CNN= immediate divorce.
Speaking of weddings, we are kinda tending/thinking towards doing the ceremony here instead of home (complicated work obligations)… So when/if it’s confirmed, I will let y’all know… I ain’t got most of my fam here, so y’all would be my fam… oki?
@LP… Ooooohhhhh keep us updated… I would love to come
@Cbg,
i can’t believe you agree..usuallly you looking for silver lining alternate judgement LOL..
See you don’t get me…
I solely believe that nobody should be forced into doing anything they don’t want to do… Not even nudged into doing anything they don’t want to do. I have always said, I don’t even find a person attractive or mate potential until AFTER they start talking to me, shows OBVIOUS interest. I have always believed that…
But my thing is that works for ME. And I can not advocate it to somebody else, if that ain’t working for them… I know what works for me and I’ll share it… Chances are it might work for somebody else or it might not. The key is it’s not a rule everybody has to follow… It’s just my way to go about things.
See? I feel soooo misunderstood.
“So when/if it’s confirmed,”
@ LP
???
@Cbg,
If the moving of the ceremony to the United States instead of home.
affair= 10 million a month to a swiss bank account
affair with an ugly woman= + 25 more million
when the public finds out= 30 million
if it gets on E Hollywood= 15 million
CNN= immediate divorce.
This is hilare.
@Comeback
“Well one baller wife flipped the script..wasn’t it shawnie??(sp) Shaq’s wife who started to move money.
there is a price for being kept..these women need to wise up.”
If that is true she is smart. When I tell women some men think like this they call me mean and negative. I’ve seen what these men do first hand. It would be nice if he was so in love with you that he would take care of you and not mess around but it usually isn’t the case. A lot times men like this situation so they can control you and keep you in your place.
@LP: I’d love to come also!!!
@80s: There goes my being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader fantasy. DANG.
Joking. But seriously are there repercussions or anything?
@comeback: That is true.. when u are used to living a particular lifestyle it’s hard to go back.. but remember, they said Shaq and Shawnie (did I spell that right) had beef because he found out she was moving the change.
I’d have to be upfront with mine and just call it a “savings.” lol
“affair= 10 million a month to a swiss bank account
affair with an ugly woman= + 25 more million
when the public finds out= 30 million
if it gets on E Hollywood= 15 million
CNN= immediate divorce.”
All written up and signed on a NOTORIZED document.
@cbg,
“So when/if it’s confirmed,”
@ LP
???
Right now, it’s scheduled to take place home… but we might have to do it here instead of home. So when or if we know for sure that it will happen here, I will let you guys know.
There goes my being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader fantasy. DANG.
Joking. But seriously are there repercussions or anything?
@Nick… Did you ever watch the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader reality show????? They don’t play when it comes to the professionalism and all of that other stuff….. They let it be known there is to be no fratenization…..
I haven’t heard of any one getting in “trouble” behind it….. But who knows…
“Did you ever watch the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader reality show?????”
I didn’t even know they had a show!!!!
I didn’t even know they had a show!!!!
@Nic…. Girl, it used to come on CMT I believe…. They would tape their tryouts and stuff… I loved it…. You should probably youtube that….. I’ve watched like 2 seasons… I kept missing the last one because it would come on like on Friday nights……. Their serious about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Brand!!!!!!
“CMT”
@ 80s
the country music channel?? im so mad i know this.
I’m having cheerleader tryouts for Team Humble. Please be prompt and wear proper attire.
@Humble-yeah you are so right on your comment especiallysince Tiny stated that when she met TI she had the money and status and he was a new rapper.
@If i was the bride I would have had a party like LP said and invited the public to party it up. Something about that situation doesn’t sound right though.
@CBG-You are too funny. Yeah I would be moving money too. 2520 woman told me that if you marry a man with a business, etc…..you need to make yourself learn what he is doing, be indispensable and get a title and a salary so if he does trip, you are guaranteed some money.
Anybody noticed that after Shaunie moved money and Kobe ratted on Shaq that the divorce petition was dropped? I think Shaunie had some video tapes on reserve…….
I got a feeling that Tameka got something on Usher and she is just waiting to drop that bomb….
“I’m having cheerleader tryouts for Team Humble. Please be prompt and wear proper attire.”
@Humble-you are stoopid..:)
@Nick & 80s-those chicks were serious to the point of being comical about those Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders…that show used to crack me up!! I used to laugh at the size 10’s and above trying out-are u serious?
” kept missing the last one because it would come on like on Friday nights……. Their serious about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Brand!!!!!!”
@80s: They should be.. they are the widest recognized team. I always wanted to be one, growing up.
LMAO Humble, what kinda dances are the girls having to do?
“I got a feeling that Tameka got something on Usher and she is just waiting to drop that bomb….”
MAN!!!! Stay tuned. lol
CMT”
@ 80s
the country music channel?? im so mad i know this.
@80s & CBG-girl don’t feel bad because sometimes the CMT channel has some good stuff on it. Those country stars live for the drama..rappers have nothin on country stars.
Let me work out and get off this blog for a minute:)
the country music channel?? im so mad i know this.
@Comeback… You’re absolutely right…. I loved that reality show and then the one where they were trying to find a coyote ugly…..
*Disclaimer… Yes there would be black girls trying out for the dallas cheerleading squad and there would be black girls on the coyote ugly show too.
I’m having cheerleader tryouts for Team Humble. Please be prompt and wear proper attire.
@Hummy…. It’s no use in me trying out… I’ve never been flexible….
“I used to laugh at the size 10’s and above trying out-are u serious?”
CRIKEY. And I know those girls were probably laughing at them too.
I have to mention the term “dope” is an 80’s term its not a new term at all- back in the days something was bangin we’d say it was “stupid, dope, fresh” once again this era of hip hop needs to get its own identity, and this lack of muster comes from a upbringing where everybody is cool, never critique any one or anything and you’ll get on by just being you no need to sell yourself your flyness will be recognized.
no, it will not.
I used to laugh at the size 10’s and above trying out-are u serious?
@BGrits…. Right…. Even the girls with hips were questionable… Because they were serious about making sure people looked appropriate in the uniforms…. They DID NOT PLAY when it came time for the fittings of the uniforms…. And they told plenty of girls. I just don’t know if your body is a right fit for the uniform.
Speaking of weddings, we are kinda tending/thinking towards doing the ceremony here instead of home (complicated work obligations)… So when/if it’s confirmed, I will let y’all know… I ain’t got most of my fam here, so y’all would be my fam… oki? .
Ummm I am in there like swimwear! I’m excited. I know you probably don’t hope it happens here, but I do!
@ CBG affair= 10 million a month to a swiss bank account
affair with an ugly woman= + 25 more million
when the public finds out= 30 million
if it gets on E Hollywood= 15 million
CNN= immediate divorce. .
OMG this is hilarious. I soooooo agree.
@ Humble I’m having cheerleader tryouts for Team Humble. Please be prompt and wear proper attire. .
DEAD
I would have DEF. thrown a party if I was “left at the altar/last minute ditch”. I would have been pi$$y drunk….but kicking it.
“I would have DEF. thrown a party if I was “left at the altar/last minute ditch”. I would have been pi$$y drunk….but kicking it.”
I would tell people, don’t be coming up to me with all that sad sympathy shat, too.
Matter of fact, that’s prolly why I’d not do it. I’d end up cursing someone out.
I would tell people, don’t be coming up to me with all that sad sympathy shat, too. .
Yeah that would irritate me too…thank goodness I am eloping. LMAO.
Hey enyfilms…… [ I kind of think you're temps... But if not, my bad}
Matter of fact, that’s prolly why I’d not do it. I’d end up cursing someone out.
@Nick... I'd have a sign at the door like this ain't no got d@mn pity party...... So don't be coming in here feeling sorry for me....... Leave the sympathy at the do [and yes I meant do and not door]
“Yeah that would irritate me too…thank goodness I am eloping. LMAO”
Ma’am, Ma’am. Where u going?
Ma’am, Ma’am. Where u going? .
LMAO.I don’t mean currently. This is for the future. I am NOT planning a wedding. Nope, I won’t do it. My mama and em may be pissed, but they are going to have to deal with it.
“I’d have a sign at the door like this ain’t no got d@mn pity party…… So don’t be coming in here feeling sorry for me……. Leave the sympathy at the do [and yes I meant do and not door]”
LMAO!!! Ding ding ding. YES. That is the exact idea.
I am over here cracking up.
(I thought that sounded like Temps too)
Oh yeah, what it do enyfilms!
“LMAO.I don’t mean currently. This is for the future. I am NOT planning a wedding. Nope, I won’t do it. My mama and em may be pissed, but they are going to have to deal with it.”
Awwww, ok. lol. I was finna say, SHOOT I AM COMING.
I feel you. I am not planning a wedding either. I told J he could do it if he wants one. lol
I feel you. I am not planning a wedding either. I told J he could do it if he wants one. lol .
When is yours?!?!?!
The wedding I went to this weekend was a young one and the bride looked really pretty… So that kind of had me thinking what’s my wedding gonna be like…..
But I already know I’m having me a big ol wedding…. But I’ve already told my fam I’m not getting married in a church….. I’m having a 2 n 1…… I wouldn’t even mind getting married outside but that’s too big of a risk….. And my dress is going to be sexy…. So I’m giving them warnings now so there won’t be any big surprises…
My aunt’s a coordinator and then my other aunt decorates… So I’ll tell them to create some ideas and run them by me…. Hopefully, they’ll do all the planning and I can just pick the date and the colors…. LOL
“When is yours?!?!?!”
@V: lol. We’ll see after I get that first ring.
“So I’m giving them warnings now so there won’t be any big surprises…”
@80s: OKKK. Have u thought about what kinda sexy? Like low back or what?
I want to do mine outdoors… and u are so right about the risk.
@Nicki
“LMAO Humble, what kinda dances are the girls having to do?”
That will be discussed upon arrival
@80s
“It’s no use in me trying out… I’ve never been flexible”
We can stretch you if needed.
OKKK. Have u thought about what kinda sexy? Like low back or what?
@Nick…. Moreso the fit of it…. Like I’m not a poofy kind of dress person… I don’t want no poof…. I want something that’s gonna show of the curves…. Not necessarily the boobs.. I’m gonna want to hide them… But the hips and bootay will be poking out of my dress…. LOL
We can stretch you if needed.
@Hummy.. Not gonna work…. I remember when we used to have to do them flexibility tests in gym…. The gym teacher was “suprised” because he assumed since I was smaller I should have been able to me more flexible…. He thought wrong!!!!!
@ V and Nick….. Check yall email for me…. Thanks
“. Not necessarily the boobs.. I’m gonna want to hide them… But the hips and bootay will be poking out of my dress…. LOL”
@80s: I get ya. I don’t want anything poofy either!
Those wedding pics made me want to reconsider and have it in Cincinnati!
thank goodness I am eloping. LMAO
Can you believe they have “elopment package”? (Yes I researched it.
) I was like, wait, isn’t the point in eloping not having to do any of that?
Has anyone here had or currently have their home phone over VoIP? I am thinking about switching my home phone from AT&T to Comcast. I want to know what the service is like.
I haven’t done that one Humble
@80’s – Oh your aunt does a great job!
Can you believe they have “elopment package”? .
Ummm what exactly does an “elopment package” consist of?
Has anyone here had or currently have their home phone over VoIP? I am thinking about switching my home phone from AT&T to Comcast. I want to know what the service is like. .
Is this like the digital phone. I had my home phone through Time Warner Cable. The service was fine, as far as I could tell. But then again I probably used it to talk maybe 3-4 times.
@V Renee
“Is this like the digital phone. I had my home phone through Time Warner Cable. The service was fine, as far as I could tell. But then again I probably used it to talk maybe 3-4 times.”
It is digital phone. Did it ever cut off? Did you have problems using long distance?
Thanks V…
@All…. I am so ready to go home….. I drunk some coke last night before bed. Worst.mistake.ever. I couldn’t go to sleep for nothing in the world.
It is digital phone. Did it ever cut off? Did you have problems using long distance? .
It never cut off. Well except for when we had the huge wind storm. But EVERYTHING was cut off then. The long distance was good too. Never had problems with it.
Do y’all ever go to
dreamandhustle.com?
“Do y’all ever go to
dreamandhustle.com?”
Now I do. lol
I drunk some coke last night before bed. Worst.mistake.ever. I couldn’t go to sleep for nothing in the world. ..
Having caffeine before bed doesn’t bother me. The only thing that makes me restless is Nyquil. Go figure.
You don’t have much longer to go. You can do it!!! (wkcite the people cheering on Jesus on a bike)
And have added it to the blogroll bc I like what I see.
@ Nicki – I really like his blog. He has good tips. He can be out there. But in a way that forces you to think about some things.
“Nicki – I really like his blog. He has good tips. He can be out there. But in a way that forces you to think about some things.”
I agree!!!!
Has anyone heard from No More or Jac?
Has anyone heard from No More or Jac? .
I think I saw No More on facebook. I talked to Jac briefly last night on the phone.
I saw No More on facebook today… I talked to Jaci for a second on Monday bc she wanted me to write for her yesterday. She’s got her cousin’s funeral in Illinois (I think), so I assume she’s with family.
@Humble,
Has anyone here had or currently have their home phone over VoIP?
I have had Vonage for more than a year… And I love it… It’s a lot cheaper since we’re constantly calling Canada and Europe.
Once again I get another sign to pay more attention to my facebook account.
@LP
Has your billed been about the same or has it increased since you’ve had it?
@V-Looking at that site now.
You don’t have much longer to go. You can do it!!! (wkcite the people cheering on Jesus on a bike)
Why does this make think on the Dunkin Dnuts commercial “YouKIN DO IT!
@80s-I’m with you 80s i would love a big wedding but whatever I do it will TASTEFUL and I can afford it. I’m not one of the poofy dress girls either because i always wanted to get married in a red evening dress because 1. white is the color of death around the world and 2. if I’m dropping a grand I want to wear that dress again.
@Humble- I wouldn’t recommend VOIP because you are screwed during a power outtage. My neighbor didn’t have a phone for 4 days but another neighbor had voip and was okay because her battery lasted longer…
Once again I get another sign to pay more attention to my facebook account.
@Hummy……. Hmmm… I still ain’t received a friend request…..
Coco #2I’m with you 80s i would love a big wedding but whatever I do it will TASTEFUL and I can afford it.
@BGrits…. I’m saying that now…. But when it comes time to pay for it… Ummm it might not be happening…. I definitely ain’t tryin to break the bank….. But I was mainly just talking about my family…. I have a traveling family and they go to everything….
In November we had my grandmother a 70th bday party and it was over 300 people there… At least half was family and close family friends…… So by time I had on my daddy’s people I’ll be somewhere frantic like I don’t know if we can pay per plate at the reception… It’s going to be a byop affair…. Bring your own plate…… .ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Just playing….
@80s
“……. Hmmm… I still ain’t received a friend request….. Coco #2″
You got jokes. How do I send a request to you? I’ve only done it through someone else’s page or a link.
@Hummy… Check your email I just sent you something.
@ 80’s – and then suggest him to everyone else. ha!
and then suggest him to everyone else. ha!
@V… .You know I will
……
“@ 80’s – and then suggest him to everyone else. ha!”
@V-LOL…can I be humble’s friend? What a sista gotta do to be down?
@80s-my parents are extrememly social people and since girls are a rarity in my family they would want something big which is cool with me as long as they pay for it. heck my momma had 700 people at her wedding in 196 7 and I’m still finding wedding presents to this day.
@B… I hear you…. That’s how my mom is…. When I graduated she was sending announcements to all my elementary school teachers….. This weekend she was joking like I just won’t invite anybody to y’all wedding me and my sister busted out laughing like yea right… We know you better than that.. LMAO