Don’t answer that. **In my sexiest Teacia & McLaughlin Group voice** the answer is NO. Paula Abdul was wrong, Eleanor.
Sure with most burgeoning relationships, there is always an element of intrigue. Most people don’t want to date their analogous Siamese hobby twin, but on a real soul level people connect and commence relationships with those in which they feel a likeness, a familiarity, a comfort.
The truth is like attracts like.
And sometimes they show up to strengthen parts of your human character that could use a little run on the treadmill. Some will do the “lesson learned personal responsibility” walk, then run, no problem. Others will bytch and moan about what she/he did to them and refuse to take any critical look at what they manifested and attracted in the form of the person who wronged them.
The previous person though gets better gifts in the form of well aligned people. The moaner gets a gift too in the form of the same ole people they wanted to escape.
You don’t get out of this life by not examining your own.
I’m a firm believer that people are your relationship rite of passage. “O” was a HUGE ONE for me. In the form of intuition. In the form of forcing a square peg into a round hole. But also in the form of one of the most selfish men I’ve ever met.
Sometimes the lessons you have to learn aren’t strictly literal. I know that I am a very giving person. But I took alot from myself. I sidelined ALOT of things that I wanted to do for my own personal development, trips I wanted to take, even the money I made. I constantly had to apologize for him being broke in his residency. On top of which, I was at my all time fattest (I’m not posting those pics, though Harpo has one. LOL) I take full responsibility for my crap. I’m not looking for anybody to cry me a river. I co-signed the day my intuition told me to get the hell out. Alot of people like being the Fredrick Douglass-Harriett Tubman- Jane Pitman relationship sacrificial lamb. I did for awhile. It allowed me to be right. But it also made me broken. And I’m too fabulous to be a broken down relationship martyr.
But I tried to make it work, cause that’s what martyrs do. And people had already decided that we would get married. It was a comfortable mess. A mess that allowed me to play myself WAY small. I can’t be mad at him, because I gave him permission. Through my actions and prolonging our situation, I told him it was ok.
He also had problems with the truth. I don’t consider myself to be a liar. But in a way I was. I lied to my family and his as well about our “happiness”. In this case, we were equally “yoked” and “matched”. Until I woke up one day and said, this is it. I’m done. It took a month of his calls: and ”stop playing” and three of his daddy’s fishing expeditions of “so how is everything?”, that he finally got the message. If I had only gotten the message almost three years ago.
But for all the time I feel I “wasted”, I honestly got an even greater gift in understanding the law of attraction. I got a huge wakeup call about me, as I saw parts myself I didn’t like in him. When I got that image. I decided I was done and I started really working on myself. And I honestly wish him peace and happiness, anything less messes with my joy and blessings.
Ok so I do believe that you should be in strong like before anything else. Furthermore, the person you are with should be on the same wavelength as you where many things are concerned. If they aren’t or they put constant blame on you for something that is a problem in your life I think you definitely have to re-think things.
I’m glad to see Comeback was able to walk away and better herself. I think we, women especially, have to learn how to evaluate ourselves and then do the ol’ Madea trick and make that pros and cons list about our mates. Find out what you do for that person, if they answer is nothing or I don’t know then more evaluation is necessary.
Good post Comeback. You are right in some of the things you have stated. I think opposites do attract to an extent. I watched a very old ‘Oprah Show’ in her early days and this psychologist on the show said…we tend to mirror the person we are dating at that time in our lives. You may not always be that person , which is why we grow in relationships and people grow apart. But I think you attract who you are. It could be the negative part of you or the positive part.
My ex and I are have waaaaay to much in common hence the reason we were best friends for 6yrs. before dating another 6yrs. We became very comfortable in our relationship. Even though I didn’t want all the same things he wanted near the end, we were so complacent in the relationship, neither one of us wanted to end it. But eventually you have to do what is best for you in the future. We now understand better what happened to us. We basically grew apart to some degree, along with a few other things.
Alot of people like being the Fredrick Douglass-Harriett Tubman- Jane Pitman relationship sacrificial lamb…LMAO!!! This is funny way of putting it.
@ Jac: You make a good point about the pros and cons list. The guy I really like back home, we talk all the time about which things would be total ‘deal-breakers’ for us if we got into a relationship.
Find out what you do for that person, if they answer is nothing or I don’t know then more evaluation is necessary…
We all give something to everyone we met whether knowing or unknowing. Just look at the blog family. Everyone you encounter you gives something to them. When it comes a relationship you just have to make sure you aren’t too emotionally vested and not getting it in return. One reason why my ex and I were together longer than we needed to be. He gave so much of himself,as well as I did. I didn’t feel like I was doing everything and wasn’t getting anything back. I felt like it was equal and at times I felt like he might have been giving more, or vice versa depending on the year of the relationship.
I think we should just know what we want in a mate. Then determine to what extent you will waiver on those wants/needs from your potential mate.
LMAO…you dead @ss wrong for linking that song to the post, lol.
I’ll answer the post when I get to work, gotta get the youngin up and off to school for now.
Good Morning Everyone,
Good topic Comeback.
I could have wrote todays topic. I loved my ex but we were different in a lot of ways. She was not into politics and did not watch the news. I am into both. She was not responsible I am. Her comfort came first and foremost. I felt that comfort didnt come until bills are paid, food is on the table, and a roof is over our head. I could go on. What I realized after that long a*s relationship is that I stayed in it too long although she broke up with me. I was the martyr. She wasn’t stressed and depressed I was. You have to compromise in a relationship but, there is something wrong when it is always you compromising. I am glad I went through because now I know myself better and I know how to choose a mate better.
@Jac
“I’m glad to see Comeback was able to walk away and better herself. I think we, women especially, have to learn how to evaluate ourselves and then do the ol’ Madea trick and make that pros and cons list about our mates. Find out what you do for that person, if they answer is nothing or I don’t know then more evaluation is necessary.”
A friend of mine just did that list with his wife. That list really showed why they are having the problems in their marriage. I thought a list was kind of corny until I found out a few of my friends have lists saved on their computer. lol. I have my own list of items that I will bring to the next woman I want to be in a relationship with. My ex told me what I did for her. When she asked me what she did for me I had no answer. I told her she had a big heart. lol. When I started asking myself what I got out of being with her I kind of knew there was a problem. It was weird because I had no answer for this question but I loved her.
Good Morning guys,
I’m glad you found your way out of that relationship Comeback.
I know the ultimate Harriet Tubman matyr…. my cousin is a ride or die chick to the fullest…. Stay around with total losers: no job, cheating, etc, until the very end (when her husband decided to end his own life and leave behind two children. Even more came out after the funeral.) I’m praying for my cousin, that she learns to rely on herself and go after what she deserves. She found another guy now, I’m just hoping that he is treating them all right, for she’s getting married again.
Sorry that was long.
As for me, I agree, like attracts like. I’ve tried dating those that are nothing like me (including your ’round the way drug dealer THUGS)… just didn’t work… That was my younger days but I don’t regret a thing. Over the years, I’ve become more sure of what I want and what I will/will not accept.
Oh my song just came on, “Excuse me Miss.” Gotta go into my own world for a second.
Ok so here is what I think, a lot of people get caught up in the material aspects of a relationship and leave out the parts that matter. Comeback I believe saw herself in “O” in the light, she is highly ambitious, a go getter and she knows how to make that money, which she didn’t have any reasons to doubt that “O” couldn’t do the same which he was proving that. But being blind sided perhaps by that, she ignored that he had selfish tenancies.
I have done that a lot in my relationships, try to justify why im not getting the best treatment, whether its getting those phone calls everyday, remembering my birthday, asking about my family and taking me on those nice dates it still matters, and no jive talking, good kissin, super fab job having man is gonna change the fact that at the end of the day I just wanna be loved and know that someone REALLY cares for me.
ok that sounded so corny
@ Ms. Dev “You may not always be that person , which is why we grow in relationships and people grow apart. ”
I totally agree with this. Which is why people grow apart. Two ideas here. Is to get the best aligned person that you can find (so that you grow in the same direction). Like if he’s still having a problem with the truth. And you’re working on your honesty…how can you both grow. If both people got integrity DOWN..perhaps the next one is being a good servant to others, the community, what have you.
@Teacia “LMAO…you dead @ss wrong for linking that song to the post, lol.”
The song is hot. Im bout 5 minutes on kayak.com from actually GOING to vegas. LOL
@ Humble “A friend of mine just did that list with his wife. That list really showed why they are having the problems in their marriage. I thought a list was kind of corny until I found out a few of my friends have lists saved on their computer. lol. I have my own list of items that I will bring to the next woman I want to be in a relationship with”
This is part of tomorrow’s post GET OUT OF MY HEAD MAYNE. LOL
@ Nik “Over the years, I’ve become more sure of what I want and what I will/will not accept.
”
and let the church say Amen.
coffee time.
” which she didn’t have any reasons to doubt that “O” couldn’t do the same which he was proving that. But being blind sided perhaps by that, she ignored that he had selfish tenancies.”
@ Mik this is very true. And maybe more of the selfishness that I had as well. I was gonna have a soon to be status man. there was a blog a lady started about dating a resident. Its mos def ain’t easy. Especially when you just wanna be Trapper John md’s wife. That shyt aint cute. I realize that now to the fullest.
Comeback, thanks for sharing your story. I’ve been in a similiar situation. I thank God that my eyes were opened. I am NOW glad that I went through what I went through because it taught me several things. I no longer put my happiness in someone else’s hands. I no longer allow someone in my personal space who doesn’t deserve to be there. My tolerance for B.S. is nil. I know I don’t have to settle and I don’t. I don’t let anyone take away my choices anymore. My choices are my choices (be it right or wrong).
Humble One, I didn’t realize guys had lists. I know that’s just one of the things counselors recommend for couples in couple therapy. Seeing things in black and white can put a whole new spin to things.
When it comes to a list for potential mates, one column should be what I can’t absolutely do without in a mate and another column for what’s negotiable.
“Over the years, I’ve become more sure of what I want and what I will/will not accept. ”
Nikki, me too. I used to be more of an equal opportunity dater, but no more. Me and Joe “The Thug” (been watching too many debates…lol) don’t have anything in common. It is not my job to reform him.
“Especially when you just wanna be Trapper John md’s wife. That shyt aint cute. I realize that now to the fullest”
LMAO you telling the truth, its amazing how we get caught up in the hype so quick. The first thing the man will say is “take me as I am” not willing to acknowledging his faults because he’s felt like he has already done “enough” and really thats as good as its gonna get in that “make me better” dept….
ship sailed off, and got lost with no gps system, cb radio, lost signal cell phone, just nothin.
“Me and Joe “The Thug” (been watching too many debates…lol) don’t have anything in common. It ”
LMAO of “Joe the Thug.” You ain’t never lied… between his late nights, coming in and expecting me to be up at 3 a.m. and me having to be up at 6:30 a.m (CAUSE I HAD A JOB!), I was losing too much sleep.
Ok, so I’m here…after having to fumigate my entire townhouse to figure out what the hell is STILL biting me and my daughter. I’ve gotten new mattresses, the carpet is new and the sheets are new but even after pest control made their visit last week there is something still biting us.
So this morning being the angry and protective mother I am, I went to Walmart after dropping off the kid at school and bought six cans of fumigation, new memory foam mattress pads, more disinfectant sprays and a new Hepa-Filter Vacuum cleaner. I removed all the sheets from the beds(I just washed them last night), put them in my car and let the foggers rip. I hope that when I go home before class to open up the windows so that the place can air out that I actually SEE dead insects or I’m going to scream!!!
Ok, now for the post…opposites attract alright but it can be detrimental to both parties involved. My most successful relationship are the ones I had with men who shared similar interests as me. I have recently learned that if a man isn’t into politics, doesn’t watch the news AND isn’t a fan of football that I might need to run as fast as possible because it is doomed to fail.
Yes there are more important relationship criteria than what’s on his channel favorites, but we have to learn to look at the entire picture and not just excerpts.
At this point my brain is about to go into bullsh*t mode I can feel it…I’m only halfway through my midterm paper and I need to reserve the energy for that today, lol. Btw, glad I started it last night…there was no way I wouldn’t have gotten an “A” doing a 5-6 page paper based on the topic choices we were given in only a few hours.
“Ok, so I’m here…after having to fumigate my entire townhouse to figure out what the hell is STILL biting me and my daughter. I’ve gotten new mattresses, the carpet is new and the sheets are new but even after pest control made their visit last week there is something still biting us. ”
my mother had that. And THEY TRAVEL…i think it was a some type of dust mite. And they came from someone else who figured out they had them first and brought them to Mama house. Another suggestion is to check your chimmney or whatever ducts go from the outside to in…im over here itchin just typin that shyt LOL.
@ Teacia – just reading your post is making my skin crawl! Last week I found a wolf spider in my condo. (http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=wolf+spider&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2) I IMMEDIATELY called Terminix to get rid of them and haven’t seen a spider since!
Comeback, today’s topic is so on point. I completely agree with everyone on here. And to quote the late/great Lauryn Hill “what you want might make you cry, what you need might pass you by….” I just need ya’ll’s help repeating that to myself cause lawd knows I love my man but my ex keeps calling, and I keep talking to him. I’m starting to feel like he’s my “Big” (SATC reference) but he was verbally/mentally abusive AND bipolar so I know he’s not! My current guy is AMAZING. Supportive, loving, protective, humorous, ok – ya’ll get the point. But seriously…I’m feeling today’s topic.
Oh and I’m back. I know ya’ll heffas missed me
)
OMG Daisy I would have lost my mind if I saw a spider like that in my house. These are little bugs, I’ve seen and killed a few, one was crawling on my pillow last week and I almost lost it…last night I saw something flying but it also crawled, it looked like a flea but the owner swears that no one had a pet who lived there before.
I’m a clean person, slightly obsessive at times and I’m just so frustrated that if it continues I’m going to move b/c my daughter is the one really suffering from bites and I can not let this continue any longer.
WELCOME BACK DAISY..
i wrote a song for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVS3WNt7yRU
you’re prolly to young to remember this…hell I barely remember, just from reruns.
I know I’m losing alot of folks. Self-examination isn’t exactly what’s hot on the streets (and in blogs)
@ Shelia ” I no longer put my happiness in someone else’s hands. I no longer allow someone in my personal space who doesn’t deserve to be there. ”
Exactly, when your mind is right or “improved” the old stuff you tackled shows up in that people don’t even see you. This how I know I have improved…the types of men who would step to me, don’t even any more. Its like im invisible. AND I LOVE IT.
Comeback you have to excuse me but my mind is all over the place today…expect complete randomness from me all day…starting with:
This dude has been trying to get at me for almost 3 months, we’ve been emailing and had a conversation or two in the last few weeks but he’s young and I said I would never do that again, but this one right here…well, i’ll let you decide
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=398555330
@ Tea can you answer my post’s question first before we make a left turn off of self-examination blvd…into A.D.D circle.
@ Teacia – girl I was screaming and crying cause I found it in my tupperware cabinet while in the process of making lunch for work. Called my boyfriend on his way to work and made him come to my house to get it. He cracked up laughing when he walked in and saw me wearing rain boots and oven mitts holding a spider in a tupperware bowl screaming “get it, get it!”
Apparently they’re native to my state and come in seeking shelter in the early fall. Wish someone would’ve told me that!
Word of advice: If you do find whatever is biting you….save it in a baggie cause that will help a professional give you advice on how to get rid of them.
@ Comeback – awww thanks for the song. I’m in my office just a snappin’ and singin’ away. And don’t worry about “losing folks.” If more of us practiced a little self-examination every now and then, the world would be a better place. Also, you’ll be getting some good blessings from all this positive energy you’re putting out….
@ T…the man is fine..but you just don’t know water’s wet (like my granny used to say) do you?
first of all..myspace is myspace. Second of all his profile status says “HE’S HORNY” is that something a man advertises?? I’m so old. And Im so cold…hell its cold outside. welcome back $300 heat bills and welcome back daisy.
Teacia, I hope what you’re trying works. There’s no telling how the bugs got there. It could have come from some one else’s apartment and found its way there. If it doesn’t, I don’t blame you moving.
“the types of men who would step to me, don’t even any more. Its like im invisible. AND I LOVE IT.”
Comeback, its good to be invisible to all the madness that’s out there.
@ T – SWEET BABY JESUS!!! I must go now, I’ve messed my pants….
@Comeback
“I know I’m losing alot of folks. Self-examination isn’t exactly what’s hot on the streets (and in blogs)”
To be honest I think I do this too much sometimes. In my relationship I would always look at myself first when there were problems. I would adjust to make it work. I think by doing this I let her off the hook. Everybody tells me that I am too hard on myself.
@Teacia
“I have recently learned that if a man isn’t into politics, doesn’t watch the news AND isn’t a fan of football that I might need to run as fast as possible because it is doomed to fail.”
Cosign. Except for me it would be women. If you are fine with being ignorant of the world around you I can’t be with you. I’m tired of women being more concerned with Jeezy, T.I., and Jay and Beyonce. I LOVE football but I can deal with a woman not liking it. Now if you don’t like football and basketball then we have a problem.
@Shelia
“Humble One, I didn’t realize guys had lists.”
Yeah we do. Some have it typed out some have it still in their head. After dealing with a few monsters dudes come up with a list.
“Now if you don’t like football and basketball then we have a problem.”
***blocking hum’s ip address***
Ladies & Gents, my comments are finally making it on AOL/BV political page. This makes the second day in a row. Check out today’s question and my response:
http://www.blackvoices.com/news/election
@ Shelia
“Ladies & Gents, my comments are finally making it on AOL/BV political page. This makes the second day in a row. Check out today’s question and my response: ”
***doin a dance and a song** Go Shelia..I see You. Go Go GO Shelia LOL…
i agree too. To many people fought for the right. Even if CNN comes back as its a landslide tomorrow for Obama…i’m voting out of pure honor and reverence.
hel#l i go to the booth in a smoothed out whip and a latte..45+ years ago people walked and were met with spray houses and attack dogs. Showing up is my thank you.
@ Hum I WAS JUST PLAYIN..comeback LOL
Hey peeps…I have been missing in action for a couple of days… But this topic is so on point especially with me and my ex….. We were total opposites and maybe I just created some illusion as to why it would work…….I just blamed some of our differences on the differences in our upbringing….. But even though we were total opposites we just meshed so well……
@Teacia… I hate to say this but you might want to check your mattresses for bedbugs…. One of my friends kept getting these mysterious bites over her dude’s house and come to find out he had bed bugs. She would wake up with bites all on her arms and her back… Bed Bugs travel and their on the rise these days….
I did answer the question…I think that there are some fundamental things that must agree on. Yeah some thing aren’t as important as others…I mean after all no one is going to be a perfect representation of what you look for in a mate…you take the bad with the good, but the bad can’t be the fundamentals of who you are your core.
Now on to the mister…I know several good guys who advertise that they are horny, hell even I do it at times, not the mention the occasional “i need to get laid” status message…i’m just saying. Now as far as the myspace thing goes, he’s actually friends with my cousin and it went from there…BUT I am not trying to date this little boy but lawd have mercy if he isn’t easy on the eyes, lol…besides I don’t have the time anyways…just wanted to share the eye candy with yall.
Welcome back Daisy, its so pretty here isn’t tit
80’s that was the first thing I thought and actually replaced my mattresses first…but now that i’ve seen them I know that’s not what they are, but the foggers had a list of like 30 bugs that they will kill…we’ll just have to wait it out.
@ 80s “We were total opposites and maybe I just created some illusion as to why it would work…….I just blamed some of our differences on the differences in our upbringing…”
i don’t really believe in total opposites. Im not talking he had a momma/daddy and I didn’t. He likes pink I like purple. He’s from India and I’m from Crenshaw. I’m talking perspective, consciousness, views, boundaries, “what if scenairos”, personal integrity, stuff like that.
@ Teacia ” need to get laid” status message…”
ther is a get laid status?? let me check that? lol
hello everyone!
Two days out of work and I am back! I am about 75% I finally ate for the first time yesterday since Saturday. Going to the doctors late this week and then off to HOUSTON!
Let me scroll up and read what todays topic is about. Sorry for the lack of posts…on our site. I am the poster..and when the poster is bed ridden.. well shat just stops! the world doesnt turn!
@Daisy: Aw heck to the no… I wouldn’t be able to sleep!!!! WOLF SPIDER?????
I have to catch up on the comments…
So how does every one feel about religion?
Do you think its perfectly ok for your hubby to be catholic and you Christian? what if everything else is in line except for your religious values. would you try to make it work or chalk it up?
why did my co-worker just tell me her son was moving to vegas? I wanted to play Teacias song for her but then i realized that might not be a good look to a middle aged white lady.
@Comeback – You don’t like sports? I can deal with a woman not liking sports. The ultimate serious deal breaker is the politics and news.
Will the fit club affect me getting cookies?
Humble…”Will the fit club affect me getting cookies?
”
we got the sugar free joints made from splenda. can you get down with splenda?
Mik..arent catholics… christians? I got my finger on the phone ready to launch a brigade on my mama for sending me to a non-chrisitan catholic school for 8 years.
@ Jolie..welcome back too. I was about to send the search party out fo yo @zz.
“And Im so cold…hell its cold outside. welcome back $300 heat bills and welcome back daisy. ”
I beg to differ. The $300 or should I say $300 plus heating bills are not welcomed back. I started on doing a light insulation in my house. As far as i’m concerned if you are not shivering or if you can’t see your breath you are not cold.
No comeback I believe catholics only believe in Jesus
@Mikki & Comeback – Catholics are Christians.
“@Mikki & Comeback – Catholics are Christians.
”
Praise GOD…i still gotta launch that brigade tho…i went to a lutheran school as well for 4 years..and them bamma’s im not sure if they’re christian LOL AT ALL.
I thought there was a difference between the two
@Mikki
“So how does every one feel about religion?
Do you think its perfectly ok for your hubby to be catholic and you Christian? what if everything else is in line except for your religious values. would you try to make it work or chalk it up”
It does not matter too me.
@Comeback
“we got the sugar free joints made from splenda. can you get down with splenda?”
Uh, I prefer my cookies made with pure processed, refined, fattening, diabetes causing sugar. Why punish me? I’m not in the fit club.
@T: “OMG Daisy I would have lost my mind if I saw a spider like that in my house. These are little bugs, I’ve seen and killed a few, one was crawling on my pillow last week and I almost lost it…last night I saw something flying but it also crawled, it looked like a flea but the owner swears that no one had a pet who lived there before. ”
I wonder if they are gnats.. I have no clue where the come from. I’ve been seeing them in my apartment lately and have no clue how to get rid of them.
My mom tells me they tend to hang around if you keep bananas or fruit out.
humble Muslims n jahova witness?
im not in the fit club either and i dont want no suga free glutten free, or anything with the word free in it
“So how does every one feel about religion?
Do you think its perfectly ok for your hubby to be catholic and you Christian? ”
Okay I don’t think I can catch up. LOL
I don’t think I could date outside of my religion… I want us to be able to worship together, even on Sunday mornings… plus I don’t want my children to have to choose.
Jac did you get my email?
@Mikki
“I thought there was a difference between the two”
There is a difference b/w them and other christians but they do believe in Jesus. I went to catholic and roman catholic schools for most of my education. My grandmother was AME and I went to a non-denominational church and had family friends that were muslim so I have been lightly exposed to the differences.
@Mikki
“humble Muslims n jahova witness?”
Night and day. Muslims do not believe Christ was the son of god. Jehova witnesses do believe but it is different.
maybe its baptist and catholic
My ex best friend was a J-DUB (I used to tease her cause they were like a gang, Jehovah Witness)
They believe that Jesus was a prophet. They believe only a certain number of people are going to heaven, think the talented tenth (but I forget the exact number)…. those few will rule over the remainder of us, kind of like a government.
I’m torn ..I kinda agree with Nik. I wanna share our spirituality together. I want us to be able to go to church counseling before marrying stuff like that.
BUT..im also interested in ALL religions. And im fascinated with some of the common themes and messages that flow through all spiritual thought.
I also realize that too most mainstream holy rollers. Im a straight up heathan (sp). taking pictures of buddah. Listening to folks chantin. Taoism. Hindi…i realize most of them fools believe Im goin to hell with gasoline drawls.
i dunno..hopefully God is a forgiving God. But i really believe that truth flows throughout them all.
I found this for the celibates
Baptists do not hold clergy to be celibate, and do not believe in the mediation of a priest in Confession (ie, confess only to God directly).
” also realize that too most mainstream holy rollers. Im a straight up heathan (sp). taking pictures of buddah. Listening to folks chantin. Taoism. Hindi…i realize most of them fools believe Im goin to hell with gasoline drawls”
LMAO off at that Comeback.
GOD is forgiving… don’t you even worry about that.
The thing is, in order to be forgiven, you have to confess and repent and don’t do it again….
Yeeeeepp, another reason I am Celibate. LOL.
Me after a failed “relationship”:
“God please forgive me for having sex… I won’t do it again. Just please bring a good man into my life.”
In walks another fine man, tells me everything I want to hear and I believe it:
Me: Draws at ankles again.
Repeat cycle. LMAO.
“Baptists do not hold clergy to be celibate,”
Hey Mik. What’s that mean, cause I have no clue!
“Hey Mik. What’s that mean, cause I have no clue!
”
yeah…translation???…oh wait..i think i understand. The church leaders in the baptist church are not required to take a vow of chastity.
I think the nuns at my school “daughters of charity” basically believed they were married to God or Jesus..one of nem.
“The church leaders in the baptist church are not required to take a vow of chastity.”
Oooh, got ya. Which is true cause the majority of pastors are married.
“I think the nuns at my school “daughters of charity” basically believed they were married to God or Jesus..one of nem.”
I have def heard that before.
We took a spirtual gift class at my church.. one of the ladies found out that she had the gift of celibacy, BUT she was married… she used to accuse her spouse of cheating all the time. I think he EARNED a divorce. Better yet, I need her to disclose that info before marriage.
Sorry yaw… it ‘looks like I’ve been writing books.
“We took a spirtual gift class at my church.. one of the ladies found out that she had the gift of celibacy, BUT she was married… she used to accuse her spouse of cheating all the time. I think he EARNED a divorce. Better yet, I need her to disclose that info before marriage.
”
GTFOH…that is fascinating. Why couldn’t she get that message before she met his @zz. Thats not fair. I know Im all about the yaya’s and empowerment. but thats really selfish and stupid.
re the book thing…ain’t no rules over here. You can write and say what you want.
“GTFOH…that is fascinating. Why couldn’t she get that message before she met his @zz. Thats not fair. I know Im all about the yaya’s and empowerment. but thats really selfish and stupid.”
Girl, I know right.. I was mad at her for even saying that…. it’s not right… I guess I especially got pissed b/c I knew the husband never cheated and she used to hit him all the time. She was a stroke victim… Hit him with her cane. My granny told me she hit him in church once, accused him of looking at someone else. I could have slapped her! Oh, if you can’t tell, these are older folks… I give them between 45 and 67 (you know you can’t tell with black folk!)
Thanks for validating my books.
“Girl, I know right.. I was mad at her for even saying that…. it’s not right… I guess I especially got pissed b/c I knew the husband never cheated and she used to hit him all the time. She was a stroke victim… Hit him with her cane. My granny told me she hit him in church once, accused him of looking at someone else. I could have slapped her! Oh, if you can’t tell, these are older folks… I give them between 45 and 67 (you know you can’t tell with black folk!)”
i wonder how many people get these relevations who are working with some “sex#ual dysfunction” and wanna throw “Jesus Told Me” on dat coochie. S#ex is of God. Done right. thats one way you talk to him. through sex#ual connection between two well connected people.
“i wonder how many people get these relevations who are working with some “sex#ual dysfunction” and wanna throw “Jesus Told Me” on dat coochie. S#ex is of God. Done right. thats one way you talk to him. through sex#ual connection between two well connected people.”
Girl, hear???? AMEN TO THAT. Which is why I can’t wait for my husband… I want that whole earth shattering/ tape the windows/ do it anywhere love making. LOL… And to know that you are doing it right???? That’s a beatiful thing.
@Everyone
If there is any flexibility in your list what percentage of the list would be flexible?
@Humble: I think the children thing would be one of the things I’d be flexible with.
I prefer a man with no children, call me selfish, but I wanna be first! LOL..
But considering the times we live in, I’m negotiable on that. Men without children have been rare for me.
“I prefer a man with no children, call me selfish, but I wanna be first! LOL..”
yeah this is at the higher end of the non-negotiable. I meet men all the time in their 30s with no kids..but its a double edged sword, cause then im thinking **ignant comment coming: WARNING WARNING WARNING** that something is wrong with their virile situation.
i also understand that that reasoning and language manifests more confusion that I’ve been trying to avoid as of late..in the form of men I dig.
What do you guys think about this situation…
A married woman I know with 3 kids is cheating on her husband with her 1st child’s father. She moved the man down to where she lives. He comes over to their house while the husband is at work and helps her with kids and they sleep together. She plans on leaving her husband and moving in with her baby father. This is not the first time she has cheated on her husband.
I think her husband is going to find out and beat her ass or worst kill her.
What do you all think? What would you do in this situation? This is a true story.
“I think her husband is going to find out and beat her ass or worst kill her. ”
Yeah, that sounds about right.
“**ignant comment coming: WARNING WARNING WARNING** that something is wrong with their virile situation.”
Situation??? ROFL! I never looked at it that way.
@Ms.D: I would tell her to move to the nearest shelter ASAP.. Seriously, WTF? when does she plan on letting him go?
Ms. Dev I personally think its some bullshyt. Some people really need to re-consider being married or in other committed type relationships.
Why isn’t the truth easy. I don’t understand that. People hem and haw around the stupidess @zz things. How hard is it to say hey. I got these kids and all. But I just don’t wanna slow the party down with anybody right now. At this stage in my life..right this second. I wanna multi-task people’s @zz.lol. You OWE that to people. give them the choice to be multi-tasked or not.
se#x introduces other issues. Now you bringing in diseases in. boundary issues. integrity issues.
And shyt transcends. If she sucks as a life partner..i bet she sucks as a mother, as an employee, as a friend. It don’t stop.
i had this guy in philly i worked with. We were supposed to start a consulting company with two other people. I wrote the business plan. I moved back to dc. and when it was time to launch..i found out he was cheating on his wife actively and brazenly. I pulled out….shyt like that transcends..
if he can’t be faithful to his wife (and he was a huge holy roller…he wanted to know what the other partner’s spiritual beliefs were. CRAZY hypocrite)..how would he be faithful to me and other partners in business.
4 years later…he’s got major problems at his company. I also found out how he rolled other people under the bus. I havent heard from him in a YEAR. And he calls me for a LOAN three days ago to float payroll (he has 3 people on staff).
…hell to the fyck NAWL…you give the party you gotta pay the band.
” You OWE that to people. give them the choice to be multi-tasked or not.”
AMEN! I hate cheaters… I know how is a strong word but that’s how I feel.
Good move on leaving that business partner in the wind, Comeback… wonder if his business is failing because of all the dirt is coming back around to roost? Yeah, a little thing called Karma.
Yeah I know some insane marriage situation. If most people knew what I knew about some of these marriages they would never get married. I want to get married one day but I also try not to bullshit myself. I have friends who have done somethings in there marriage they would have never thought about. It’s really bad out here. But I think if you are just honest it changes things completely. Even if you bullshit everyone else, at least be honest with yourself.
Well I not going to give her any advice, because she didn’t ask me. She was telling me about what was going on. Plus as a single person I don’t give advice to married people about their marriage that is not my place. Talk to someone who is married. I know that my answers will probably be right but I just don’t speak on a marriage situation. I do advise my friends on what they need to do themselves, which is usually just make a decision.
MS. D-I would whoop serious ass okay that’s enough violence.
Nicki-Wow…simply wow.
Humble-I would say kids as well. I have that one ex with a daughter and he had it all worked out as to how he would make sure everyone got their time it did involve me having to do a little of the Mommy thing but…eh, oh well.
@ Nicki/ Comeback: Good thing you didn’t get involved with that person. The fact that he was such a holy roller and cheated on his wife says a lot about his character. If you are cheating on your wife that is one thing. But to pretend to be something is another. There are always warning signs before destruction. That was your sign comeback.
Nicki: It probably is karma, life makes a circle. You get back what you put out at some point in life.
@ Humble: There are a few things Im flexible on. But it really just varies. My ex had 2 daughters, so I don’t want to deal with a man with kids again for now. The guy I like back home is a mason. I don’t want to deal with that either.( my own reasons for that). You have to have a strong faith in God and be a praying man. (no flexibility here) For as careers, as long as you are on your hustle and will work, then Im cool. As long as you want to keep striving for the best then I got you. So the list goes on and on but these are the basic.
“…hell to the fyck NAWL…you give the party you gotta pay the band.”
Absolutely…and you will not be throwing your party in the room next to mine asking me to borrow my friends, liquor and band.
This ish is ridiculous. I multi-task but they know they’re being multi-tasked…but within a marriage I need focus.
“I know that my answers will probably be right but I just don’t speak on a marriage situation. ”
Plus, some married people seem to think single people are the biggest idiots on earth… just like some parents think people without kids can’t give good advice.
@Comeback
“if he can’t be faithful to his wife (and he was a huge holy roller…he wanted to know what the other partner’s spiritual beliefs were. CRAZY hypocrite)..how would he be faithful to me and other partners in business”
I had a former close friend like this. He became a huge holy roller while I new him. Everybody told me about him. But I I knew his parents and everything so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I checked him a few times on how he treated the mother of his child and women before her. These people always try to present and image of themselves that contradicts who they really are. They only fool those that don’t have a clue.
Hello lovelies… just stopping by to say hi really quick…
Jac check your email. Share with Nicki and let me know what ya’ll think.
Comeback good post… I think I agree that opposites don’t really attract. They do on some level but you have to have enough similiaries to really work as a couple.
I’m off to pay my dang ticket and deal with some other messes.
Hope you are all having an amazing day.
Hey yall, just checking in…this paper is the hardest one so far and chatting it up with you guys today will cost me.
…know that you all are in my heart, for real for real.
Later
Oh Ms Dev. I don’t normally advocate violence but she need her ass beat to sleep.
That is all, lol.
T, Thanks for dropping in with this gem:
“Oh Ms Dev. I don’t normally advocate violence but she need her ass beat to sleep.”
I’m laughing my arse off.
“Why isn’t the truth easy. I don’t understand that. People hem and haw around the stupidess @zz things. How hard is it to say hey. I got these kids and all. But I just don’t wanna slow the party down with anybody right now. At this stage in my life..right this second. I wanna multi-task people’s @zz.lol. You OWE that to people. give them the choice to be multi-tasked or not.
se#x introduces other issues. Now you bringing in diseases in. boundary issues. integrity issues.
And shyt transcends. If she sucks as a life partner..i bet she sucks as a mother, as an employee, as a friend. It don’t stop”
Cosign. I think a lot of people have a DEEP ROOTED selfishness that is borderline psychopathical. I am FAR from perfect but, I try my hardest to be a stand up dude. There is a common respect that we as human beings should give to each other male or female. I think some people are punks in life and dont understand the ying and yang of life. These people make decisions or moves based on how they feel or what they want at that moment and totally disregard everything else.
“I am FAR from perfect but, I try my hardest to be a stand up dude.”
I really think this speaks to the quote about how it’s not about what you do when everyone is watching but rather what you do when no one is watching. That’s true integrity.
Man, I like Humble and his views more and more like everyday. I also like NoMore’s perspective too. Man our guys in here are great.
“how it’s not about what you do when everyone is watching but rather what you do when no one is watching”
And Amen to this.
I second this, our guys are fab!
“. I am FAR from perfect but, I try my hardest to be a stand up ”
me too and speaking of Q and her speeding ticket..i need to find my VA one ..b4 i start driving down and around Nova and come up with a case LOL…
A.D.D off topic…does anybody know the name of this accapella college choir (upstate i think boston??) with black and white guys totally rockin it out to new r&b stuff.??? its bothering me and i can’t get no work done till i find it.
“.D.D off topic…does anybody know the name of this accapella college choir (upstate i think boston??)”
Sorry, I dont’ know!
Wow off topic on your own site. lol.
“Wow off topic on your own site. lol.
”
Yeah you guys. I CANNOT and WILNOT TOLERATE off topicness. So what did everybody eat today for lunch LOL.
“Yeah you guys. I CANNOT and WILNOT TOLERATE off topicness. So what did everybody eat today for lunch LOL.”
Ha. A homemade chicken and turkey bacon wrap. PROTEIN!
I think I have an idea of who complained about not being able to post at our former clubhouse.
Time is moving to slow i’m ready to go home.
Come on 3rd eye?? Who you got?
Cause I’m thinking no one did.
Well now that I think about it, I do have one suspicion…
I think it was actually two people. One didn’t have a fyckin clue about what that would mean to him driving the traffic and the dynamics to the site..the other well…could give a dam#n about a blog lol.
I think one of them is the person that seems angry 95% of the time.
“I think one of them is the person that seems angry 95% of the time.
”
i don’t think so…lol..what you think hummy.
@nicki
“Well now that I think about it, I do have one suspicion…”
Word? I dont want to say it but I am about 60% sure I think I know.
re: hummy…from “W” “Rumsfeld”..”rommy”
HAS ANYBODY SEEN THE DAM#N MOVIE…i can’t say how long Im gonna be quotin shyt from the movie.
I think one of them is the person that seems angry 95% of the time.
No it’s not that person. I think it’s somebody else.
Did you say 60% Humble??? That is not gonna hold up in court.
LOL @ Comeback knowing who I meant.
And it wasn’t Tea.
@nicki
“Did you say 60% Humble??? That is not gonna hold up in court.”
I’ve been flip flopping. Sometimes i’m 85% sure sometimes i’m 60% sure.
Nope, I don’t think Tea for a second… matter of fact, no one in our “round table.”
im drop a hint. in tomorrow’s post.
Although I think the person’s name does begin with T.
@Comeback
“And it wasn’t Tea.”
I know it wasn’t Tea. I can tell you it is a female.
@nickisunshine
“Although I think the person’s name does begin with T.”
LOL. I think we are thinking the same person.
I had some stir fried veggies …like 1/2 serving.
Heck yeah it was a woman…. I don’t see a man complaining over something like that, unless he has a small wee wee.
@Humble: I think we are right… comeback what you think?
oh it was a woman alright (a couple) LOL…
hehehe
*slides out back door*
tomorrow’s post folks tomorrow’s post. I actually will do two. Its in the more..”relaxed” one.
LOL… Okay guys. As usual, you guys are fun… it’s closing time for me… until then, ciao!
““Although I think the person’s name does begin with T.””
interesting…If you were in my 3rd eye class you might not NOT get an F for failure. But yall are Cold like Medina.
hey wait a minute my name starts with a “T”..:( …lol just detracting from my eye)
@ Comeback – my name starts with a “T” too so maybe it was BOTH of us. Oh wait, no one on here knows my name…so it was just you…LOL!!!
@ Daisy…yeah this is gettin outta hand…
Hummy!!! this McCarthy witchhunt is outta order. Hummy I need it to stop.
***yall gonna hate my @zz when Nixon comes out. I’mma be confusin yalls @zz then.*** lol
I am going to second or third the motion that their name starts with a “T” and that they seem to comment a lot since we moved over here…
Thats just me.
Leavin the house again… hope you are all havin a fab day.
what the HELL did I just miss…who was complaining about not being able to comment…who even said there were complaints?!??! somebody please fill me in!!
@Teacia they are talking about the “persons” that complained at SBM about us getting off topic all the time and bein the “cool kids at the lunch table” and not feelin like they could join us.
And I thought I had issues.
oh ok, yeah i don’t have to guess on that one…i already know.
btw my place is completely fumigated but my silly @ss forgot that i had berber carpet which means that i can’t see shat that is dead, but my new Bristol vacuum cleaner can…he he he.
well Hummy got me out here wit my @zz hangin in the breeze. Looks like everybody’s right..50%, LOL.
Thanks for the confirmation Comeback. haha.
Teacia check your mail when you get done with your paper.
)
Comeback, I won’t leave you arse out… I’m over here checking in between classes…
There was nothing wrong with playing “Clue” and trying to “guess the killer”. End scene.
GOD, between strectch-kilyourself-ology and endo-die-thermic, I’m going bananas…
Okay, back to class.
I’m mad yall was in here playing “clue” without me
I think the maid did it!
“well Hummy got me out here wit my @zz hangin in the breeze.”
You are not out here by yourself. I got your back. Unless your @zz is hangin in the breeze is your way to get out the celibacy club. lol
Unless your @zz is hangin in the breeze is your way to get out the celibacy club. lol
Humble that was hilarious.
Mik, where your behind been??? Climbing on top of something? J/K
@Nicki Sunshine – what are you still doing around here?
@Humble: blame it on the damn Cappacino… I should have listened to MC Lyte. I’ve been drinking them before class and they are still in my system. I just got home like an hour ago.
lmao Nicki u aint right!! I was at work!!!!
@Daisy
Girl let’s not talk about exes….my current boo and I doing ‘aight’ but there has always been something missing….went to Howard’s homecoming and saw the ex who dumped me back in 92 3 days b/4 I was to fly to his city for his current wife.. He is sweating me and I tell him to get a divorce and we’ll talk…he said he just might do that!
I am just staying away but even though he gained weight, he does it for me. My girl says that I was the “80% and he married the 20%” (Tyler Perry reference) but I’m not holding my breath.
The current boo is cool but he has family drama and finance issues , hell he owes me money and I am the one with a new degree and no job and he is in the military. This one might become “Black History” if things don’t change. I know where Comeback is coming from….