Ok. I am still missing Toni Childs with the sickness.

 But there were indeed some universal messages for all comeback girls in the Girlfriend’s premiere last night. At times I think Ms. Joan Clayton was channeling your’s truely. Particularly on the parts  where she unwittingly emasculates Aaron when challenging him on needing his approval on an oven range purchase.

 He dramatically throws his jeans at her and asks if she would like to wear the pants-but not before Joan makes a dig at how broke Aaron is.

Oh woa is me. Every successful black woman has done it before. Even if you count yourself as progressive and evolved with occasional “urban” outbursts-about how you don’t need a man yabba dabba do–we all slip up from time to time.

And being that I am the all too common product of a single parent household and of an all women’s university—well lets just say sometimes I am slidding on a very slippery slope. But I do know this (3) recognizing the “problem” is the first step. (isn’t that what they say in A.A??)

 (4) As much as I hate to admit (looking away from the bookshelf with Betty Friedan, Alice Walker, bell hooks, and Gloria Steinem), power in relationships bring forth those damn gender roles you (**) told me didn’t exist, ladies (yes yall)…dead and alive- and that they are negotiated. (5) A man sometimes needs to know that you need him in ways that aren’t always sexual. (6) This doesn’t’t mean that you play dumb. but (7) if you are living with, married to, engaged or in a deeply committed  relationship you can’t make “single” decisions (8) particularly with a man who has proven that he is worthy.

If she was living, Betty would probably be as mad as hell at me right now (being that I did do a lot of work citing of the “Feminist Mystique”) but hey that’s life on the other side of planet comeback girl.

(**) ok for the record I do sometime have inner dialogue with Betty, Bell, and Alice. And yes occassionally I cuss at them. LOL