I have a meeting with the owner of a local design showroom tomorrow morning. She’s a sistah AND she makes house calls (for a fee of course). I’ll do a link back shout out AFTER our meeting. I trust her. She’s VERY creative. But can she really feng shui me ?

That’s what I’ve been looking for. Someone whose design aesthetic I heart heart heart, but also someone who can show me the LOVE and the SUCCESS in furniture design and placement. I came into the showroom about a month ago. Snapping pics, turning my head to the side, visualizing, and designing on a dime, a quarter twenty cents (cause I am on a budget. I’m not sure of the exact number yet. But I’m on a budget).

One of the things that fascinates me about design is that color, aromatherapy, and where furniture is placed (among other things) CAN facilitate a life change. This sounds crazy but I want to design my house around the man I will meet, fall in love with, and marry. I know I know. You are saying Comeback YOU HAVE LOST IT FOR REAL. But have I ? Everyday we as women go out on the town and dress up for men (but also for women but that’s another blog post) we put on the cutest heels, the baddest dress.

But what about the spaces in which we live ? I want to dress my nest as if my man is already here. The elements of feng shui are basic to me. I need advanced training. The concepts for love revolve around everything in “twos”. Things should be purchased in pairs. I love fresh flowers. And elements of red for passion and fire…but not too much passion where my butt can’t sleep at night.

So do you think my future man is a leather headboard kind of guy???

 (No, I’m not going to start taking “iphone pics” of my dates, its purposfully fuzzy to protect the innocent  black man plan participants.)

During the day, I always have HayHouse Radio streaming in the background. This past hour Dr. Wayne Dyer was on. He takes calls from listeners and when I got back from lunch, I sat down to him saying: “You don’t get what you want, You get what you are”.

And when the truth feels right, it just processes through your body differently.

I haven’t been blogging much about my personal life, because I was still rather confused about who I want to be with since ”O”. Certain men have been asking me “what do you want?” And I haven’t been able to answer it. We all want to be happy, we all want someone who we are compatible with, someone who makes our  body and heart sing. But I haven’t been able to really articulate what that looks like. What does happiness look like? What does passion look like? Who am I really attracted to?

My old flame called this weekend. I don’t usually take his calls. But this Sat I did, and he gave me the drill. The one I always got with him. “We could be really good together {Comeback Girl} if you (weren’t so disagreeable, weren’t so spoiled, said no all the time…) Its usually a laundry list of all my faults. My question is always, why do you have to call me and tell me this. If I’m all those things…keep it moving.)

I decided to go out with him primarily just to see… maybe I missed something about him that was salvageable. Maybe I could fit a square peg into a round hole. But in late 2005, I was a different woman. My mother had just been diagnosed with a late stage cancer,  I was also trying to make my job work-and “A” just came along at the right time. But once my mother was healed, I saw life a little differently-primarily that I didn’t have to be with someone who criticized me ALL THE TIME. I am grateful that he was there (and he was very supportive concerning my mother) and but my blinders came off. “A” was like a retreat, an escape..an oasis. I jumped ship right to “O” and well I did get my karma back for sure, because I don’t think I ended “A” well. At ALL. And I prolonged my situation with “O” to please other people. And myself and wasted SO MUCH time in the process.

So two days ago, I finally realized I’ve never really pictured who I’ve wanted outside of nice, ambitious, and commitment minded. So when I got into these relationships well what all my boyfriends tried to change, I was also trying to change about them too. “A” was never quite mentally organized, he often was impractical and judgemental. But damn if he ain’t cute as hell!!!!

Everything I didn’t like about “A”, I am finding I didn’t (and don’t ((because its a process)) like about myself. I do have this crush now on “Yoga Guy” (more on him later). But recently I have been getting really heavy into Metaphysics. So much so, I’m still trying to convince myself that I can do some graduate work on fusing eastern and western components of mental health. But the thing about Yoga Guy is that he is a rather “right brain intellectual” and I NEVER noticed the more spiritual component about him, well until I started to really explore it openly with myself.

Yoga Guy seems like he’s on a really good path, the problem is, I don’t think I’m quite ready for him. But we shall see.

Hi Comeback Lovlies, I’ve been doing some serious traveling spanning two time zones in a week and I’m alittle tired, but happy to be home in my bed. Some travel for pleasure and some for business.

 I have “comeback” refreshed and renewed. And will resume our “What A Musician Looks Like” series throughout the rest of the week.

 For some reason I’ve become really fascinated with the Christie Brinkley divorce proceedings. Her husband, Peter Cook, was accused of carrying on with an 18 year old. I’ve read previously that Brinkley discovered the affair after being told by the 18 year old’s stepfather after Brinkley delivered a highschool commencement speech. Cook also spent thousands of dollars reportedly on “interactive internet porn”. He also paid the 18 year old $300,000 to go away quitely.

I was talking to my mother this evening about what shocked me the most (not just how great Brinkley looks for 54, but what a court appointed psychiatrist, Dr. Stephen Herman had to say about her realationship with Cook:

 ”the model needs to examine her taste in men and her cheating husband is a narcissist with a bottomless ego…[Brinkley] needs to start working on deeper issues including her choice of male figures.

Call me crazy, but I don’t hear mental health professionals go around talking about women’s choices of mates in divorce proceedings. I don’t ever hear it mentioned sometimes hear it mentioned in the news media period. Hell when women have break ups, I NEVER hear, “perhaps I need to check why I am attracting the same types of men over and over”. It’s ALWAYS “his lying, cheating, crazy ass. Look what he did to me”. Now don’t get me wrong Cook is a narccacist. And his Karma now gets him limited access to his children and a few slashes through his name as an architect.

But why do we as women attract the same types of men over and over. How do we end up with men we’d never want to share the same breathing space with, much less a bed and children? And why aren’t we just as selective about the men we love and sleep with as we are with some of the clothes we put on our backs? That is the million dollar question. And I think when we as women can collectively answer that question for ourselves, with truth and personal responsibility better men WILL show up.

I swear this is true on everything I own. And in a couple of days I will detail exactly why.

This video is actually Ledisi singing with Chaka Khan on her famous “You Got The Love”. As you know Chaka Khan is a living legend. But Ledisi is also one in the making. I love her spirit. Back in 2000 when she broke on the DC scene with “Take Time” off of her first project, Soulsinger, I was so impressed at how after some failed attempts to get signed she decided to independently make her first two projects.

And two Grammy nominations later (on the major label Verve), Ledisi really does typify what it means to take control of your passion and create real beauty, meaning and music on her own terms.

Comeback Lovelies. I’m willing to bet MOST of you have not a clue who Frank McComb is. But if you are looking to expand your musical palette, Frank is a must know.

I first heard his voice in 1997 on lead vocals on Buckshot Lefonque’s Music Evolution. Buckshot was formed by none other than Branford Marsalis and it really was an ambitious project sought to fuse Funk, Jazz, Blues, and Hip Hop. And it delivered. There are two songs off the project that are my favorite: “Another Day” and “Better Than I am”. Frank also had some really great solo projects of his own, my personal favorites are “Love Stories” and “The Truth”.

You will probably hear alot of the “holy trinity” musical influences (Donny Hathaway, Stevie Wonder, and The Gap Band’s Charlie Wilson) in Frank’s voice. I’m still amazed at how incredibly talented this man is. Music, GREAT MUSIC, should amaze you. And sometimes anger you too. That in a sea of some of the most talented young musicians of our time, be so overlooked. This kind of music should make you want to start a crusade for less known great musicians.

Comeback Kids, Rahsaan Patterson has been on the scene for a long time. I fell in love with “Stop By” and “Get To Where You Are”.  His live performances are phenomenal. And I was no more good in the world when I got his latest, Wines & Spirits and heard him cover Sade’s  “Love Is Stronger than Pride”. NOBODY CAN SING SADE. NOBODY. He nailed it, with his very own interpretation and twist.

His second single on “Wines” I believe was “Feels Good”. Music should do just that. Listening to this song for the first time on the radio, I finally got that just like music, Love should feel good. It shouldn’t always be about the push and pull and the the struggle. And Comeback Kids, that’s what music should do, it should alter the way you view the world, it should underscore what you already know, and sometimes change your mind.

After looking at parts of the BET awards last night, this post series sure is appropriate. I guess this is what you get when you let children define an industry. But for the record I’ve been listening to Rachelle Ferrell since I was just a kid myself. I recently heard “Waiting” again on youtube. And I guess at 18 or 19,  I was just so clueless about the lyrics. Then, it was just incredible “sangin” and she’s an equally great pianist with a “six and some change octave range”. Today I can appreciate how incredibly climatic and sexy this song is. I can also appreciate the imagery (set to music) of what it means to wait for a really special man (even while filling your time dating the not so special ones). Ferrell has enormous vocal control.

And when you decide that your first unborn child will be concieved to a song, I think you defininately have yourself a musician Comeback Lovelies.

Ejam has inspired this post. I’ve known him for at least 5 years via Lalah’s old site. He’s a musical library genius and comes up with some great jams and mixes, hince EJAM.

I’m bout to take yall to school Comeback Kids. For one week, I’m gonna show yall what true musicianship looks like for 7 days. Now some of yall youngins can blame ya mama and ya daddy for not scoopin you on the classics and the masters of the past. But Imma take yall to the present for one week. I’m going to be as objective as I can about this, so you already know Lalah Hathaway is gonna round the week out. To start the seven days and in the spirit of serious sangin and real serious instrumentation…lets go to Mint Condition.

“Breakin My Heart” aka “Pretty Brown Eyes”. This performance is SICKER THAN SICK. Great music is transcendental. It should make you go into twitches and you should probably see a dead relative too on the other side. Its not black its not white. IT JUST IS. I’m not sure what my man Stockley saw at 3:33 but whatever it was, that’s what the FYCK I’m talking bout people.

Don’t let Comeback Girl mess around and get a tv show.

Comebackers, Comeback Girl is sad to report that Boy George will NOT be tumbling for any of us in the US. Yesterday it was reported that with all his legal woes abroad in the UK, he was not issued a Visa for touring.

When I was just a knee high Comeback kid, Boy George stayed in my fisher price cassette player. I had my heart set on at least a NYC or a Vegas date.

Regrets Anyone?

I was over at VSBthis morning and I didn’t think they were gonna be waxing philosophical on a Friday to the tune of regrets. Like are there people you  wish you never met? Are there things you never wish you did ? Are there things you wish you had done or better ?

I believe that all people and situations are by design. They are sent to show you opportunities for growth. Imagine meeting a man or woman you aren’t ready for. I thank God for “O” on many levels. I would hate to meet a great man and show him my not so great self three years ago. It happens all the time I think. We meet people who we aren’t ready for or who aren’t ready for us. Kismet is when two well aligned people come together at just the right time and where their “readiness” is a match.

Friendships and social situations are the same. We hate things in people that WE ourselves wish to repress. They’re like mirrors. For you to notice AND HATE it, means on some level you are projecting it and thereby hate it about YOU. And it doesn’t mean that you need to go buy them a Popsicle, it only means that that’s part of the inner work you must do.

If this part of my life had a soundtrack then surely my favorite singer in the world, Lalah Hathaway would be singing it from (Self Portrait). This is a song you can’t drive to. Its SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO damn deep. If Rihanna is my hamburger then Lalah is my porterhouse.

…”nothing can stay the same…only the change remains..so bittersweet to know …that everything will go…leaving the world just so…the way that its supposed to be…maybe we…maybe this…maybe this is not a tragedy.”

**I hope my 2 readers enjoy this today** (inside blog joke).